Although born in Northern Ireland, I am a self-diagnosed nomad and have spent the last seven years of my life on the road and have called everywhere from Belfast to Bishkek home. I am a prolific and compulsive writer and am afflicted with all the vices that go with it. I dream of marrying a rich, career-minded woman who mistakes my neurosis for genius and agrees to support me financially until I cement my place in literary history. Which obviously will never happen.