1. Viewing art is not your priority at openings.
You are there to be seen. If you want to fit in, make sure your fashion sense is a little like your parents in the 1970s and 1980s — waist-high jeans, flannel, beards, and brown leather shoes. It’s either that or chic ‘road warrior-style’ — homemade haircuts, mostly blacks, and combat boots. It feels like a pristine charade of what the Bowery and Alphabet City used to look like before Giuliani. But if you are a fashion-forward artist, look to what Bill Cunningham is looking at in the Times. Seeing him around town on his bicycle is a sign of good luck.