1. Your Terrible Towel is missing or destroyed.
After treasuring this Pittsburgh gem for a long time, you finally used it to clean up a spill, or you somehow lost it all together. Now you’ve disgraced your city by abusing your Terrible Towel instead of honoring it for all its worth (priceless, obviously). Its golden threading has become a shade of yellow/brown and you’ve taken to using it as a hand towel. Or worse.