1. Kids will absolutely hate the Holi festival, celebrated at the end of winter, where participants toss bags of powdered paints at other people and make a general mess of city streets.Photo: Stephen Gerner
2. Everyone knows that kids don’t like parades where people dress up to resemble dangerous animals, fire-breathing dragons, and many limbed beasts.
3. What kind of kids would like to try enchanted snacks?
4. A visit to the southern state of Kerala may involve a houseboat stay. Who wants their kids fantasizing about life on the high seas or lowland rivers?
5. No parent wants their kid to know where real food comes from, right?
6. The streets of Chennai afford the opportunity for plucky children to save street dogs by feeding, medicating, and helping to find homes for the pups, but vacations are all about “me time” and not intended to aid helpless people or animals.
7. India’s beaches are havens for street kids hawking everything from elephant statuettes to sarongs and handmade jewelry. What kind of kids will take a chance to play on a beach with new friends?
8. Your children will often draw a crowd and get invited into locals’ family photos. But kids don’t enjoy feeling like celebrities, do they?
9. What responsible parent wants their kids absorb local cultures, traditions, and inks while on holiday?
10. History is a heck of a lot more interesting when it involves temples in the sea and gods of destruction, but your kid probably isn’t into history anyway.
11. Your kids will discover fruits and vegetables they have never heard of in India, but most parents prefer their kids to stick to more familiar stuff.
12. If travelling helps children’s minds become more flexible, learning yoga in India will do wonders for their bodies. But kids don’t have that kind of energy.
13. Your children will hate all the quirky new things India has to offer; like getting their fortune delivered by a parrot.
14. Childhood is not the time to learn that just about everything tastes better served in a coconut.