15 superpowers you gain growing up in Montreal

1. Eating poutine any time

You’ll wait in line for over 30 minutes at La Banquise at 4 a.m., even when it’s -20 degrees.

2. Swearing in Franglais

Even if you only speak a little French or a little English, when you’re pissed, you can jure perfectly in n’importe lequel of the deux languages, tabarnak.

3. Getting shit done during a snowstorm

4 feet of snow, blowing wind and -30 degree weather won’t stop you from doing important things, like going out for poutine.

4. Parking sign de-confusion

You don’t need the P$ app to understand that a you-can-park-here-on-Thursdays sign with a no parking (ever) sign next to it, means that you can park here on Thursdays.

5. Rue barrée navigation

You can get through all the “rue barrées”, “détours” and bright orange cones without ending up in Laval.

6. Pothole detection

You can tell the difference between a pothole, a sinkhole, and just a regular hole from metres away, and somehow always manage smoothly to swivel around them.

7. Go-HABS-Go-ing

Even if you don’t like hockey, If ANYONE mentions the Leafs or any other team…

8. Winter grilling

As soon as it hits -10 degrees, you stop ordering St.Hubert and get your BBQ out.

9. Jaywalking

You can cross any street or intersection, at anytime, without thinking twice about whether you’ll get run over.

10. Celebrating moving day and Canada Day at the same time

A.K.A carrying couches, refrigerators, and stoves down a narrow spiral staircase, while drunk.

11. Pre-partying

You hit the SAQ way before the party starts and don’t leave for the party until you’ve downed at least two bottles.

12. Protesting, striking, and complaining

Whether it’s about taxes, construction, UBER, horse carriages, dogs, parking tickets, the OQLF, budget cuts or tuition fees, you’ll raise those signs and get your voice heard no matter what!

13. Looking good on a budget

You know how to get to and put outfits together from Village des Valeurs, Friperie Renaissance, and The Salvation Army and still be amongst the best dressed people in Montreal.

14. Using one language in a bilingual conversation

“Bonjour! Comment ça va?” “Fine thanks, and you?” You know that there’s no need to switch to the other language.

15. Multitasking while traveling

You can ride a Bixi up the hill on the wrong side of a one-way street full of potholes and orange cones, while swearing in Franglais and eating poutine.