1. You know the difference between a bar, pub, lounge, and club
Though you can’t really explain it to people who don’t.
2. You’re living in a slightly-larger-than-a-bathroom-stall “bedsit”
And paying hundreds of pounds per week for the privilege, just so you can be in the center of the city. Never mind that you share the loo with three total strangers and just getting from one end of your room to the other requires some serious yogi skills. You may have some roommates thrown in there as well.
3. You can navigate public transport blindfolded
You also know that the iconic Tube map is definitely not to scale and that it’s quicker to walk between Chancery Lane and Farringdon than it is pay for a Tube ride, which requires going through 4 stations and making 2 changes.
4. You’ve thrown up into the Thames at least once after a night of debauchery
There’s a good chance you passed out while lying over the guard wall as well.
5. You have strong opinions on pedestrians vs cyclists vs cars
And that opinion changes depending on which of those you happen to be at the moment.
6. You’d kill for an express lane on Oxford Street’s sidewalks
Seriously, don’t these bloody tourists know you’ve got things to do?
7. You have an irrational love for Primark
You have no idea how their fashionable clothing offerings can be so cheap. And you really don’t care.
8. You know that IKEA is where posh people shop
It’s Argos for you.
9. You go crazy when you see a bit of sunshine
Wait, what’s that bright stuff coming from the sky? OMG, it’s the sun! You have to have a picnic lunch in the park to enjoy it. In December. With temperatures below freezing.
10. You find it amusing that Chinatown, Soho (London’s gayborhood) and the West End are all in the same space
And you love that the Chinatown shops have more pictures of naked bodies in the windows than the gay clubs do.
11. You have conflicting love-hate feelings for the night bus
You love it because of all the late night drunken craziness that goes on in said bus. You hate it for the same reason.
12. Two words: Hummingbird Bakery
You’re making cross-city pilgrimages just for their red velvet cupcake.
13. One more word: SNOG
Best FroYo in the world, served up by the hottest boys in the world.
14. You’re drinking tea every morning, and it has to have milk and sugar
Because you can’t stand Nescafe instant coffee and your flat doesn’t have a coffee machine.
15. You now know the difference between a flat white, latte, white coffee, black coffee, Americano, and filter coffee
And you constantly screw up your order when suffering from a hangover because, really, who should have to remember that much crap just for a basic cup of coffee?
16. You classify Stella Artois as a typical English beer.
Even though it’s Belgian.