1. You stay sitting in the car when you arrive somewhere to finish listening to a Prairie Home Companion skit.
Folk music, Lake Wobegon, Guy Noir, Dusty and Lefty, mind-blowing sound effects, and until recently, Garrison Keillor’s voice. Only when you move away some day do you realize it’s not a ‘normal’ radio program.
2. You love a Jucy Lucy.
And Matt’s Bar on Cedar Avenue makes the best (and original) Jucy Lucy. You don’t even try any of the other places who attempt to claim Jucy Lucy fame.
3. You appreciate that the Light Rail exists, even though it doesn’t actually do you any good.
4. You remember the Halloween snowstorm.
You know the one if you were born before 1991. That Halloween was the best. Ever.
5. You think the fact that the Mall of America is one of the reasons people in other parts of the country have heard of Minneapolis is just embarrassing.
You never want to go to the Mall of America, but sometimes, despite thinking it’s a terrible place that should be avoided at all costs, you have to. There’s an abundance of important and unnecessary things you couldn’t get anywhere else in the city — from Zara to Shake Shack. Saying “I had to go The Mall of America” will get you murmurs of sympathy from most people.
6. You know you’ve got at least one of the Moosewood cookbooks in your kitchen.
7. You’re convinced craft beer started in Minneapolis.
Long before the ‘craft beer’ craze, Summit was making delicious beer. Then Surly came along and started making amazing beers. Now the city is (thankfully) covered in microbreweries.
8. Summer vacation means you go to the cabin.
You swim in a dirty lake that you’ll defend to anyone who knocks it, you learn how to make a good ‘smore by the age of 7 (although everyone’s idea of a ‘good’ one is admittedly different), all while you get covered in mosquito bites which itch so bad you scratch them to bloody scabs. But you still have fun.
9. You don’t mind the words “we’re having hot dish for dinner.”
The only question is, does it have tater tots and/or crumpled breakfast cereal on top?
10. You know not to buy beer at the gas station.
You don’t know how you know that, but you do.
11. You’re proud of Rhymesayers.
Even if you don’t listen to them anymore. They put Minneapolis on the map.
12. When people from other places in the world remark that you should be used to the cold because you’re from Minnesota, you wish you could smite them with a true Minnesota winter to see how they liked it.
By some point in February when there’s been multiple feet of snow and temperatures have stayed well-below zero for weeks, you’re so desperate to leave winter behind you would practically trade your right kidney to go anywhere warm. And you curse your ancestors for settling in such a frigid climate.
13. If you’re from Burnsville, Edina, Eden Prairie (etc.), you’re not from Minneapolis.
14. You go to Twins’ games, even if you’re ‘not that into sports.’
Your Minnesota pride comes out for the Twins, even though you just go to the games for the camaraderie, beer, bad hot dogs and selfie-taking opportunities. But you admit going to the new outdoor stadium is actually pretty fun if the weather is good.
15. You have some connection to the Coen brothers.
Everyone knows someone who knows someone who was an extra in a Coen brother’s movie. Or their mother went to the same high school as the brothers, or their uncle’s best friend was the Coen’s neighbor.
16. You know that “You betcha” is a thing.
You know this is something people actually say, in real life. Not just in Fargo. People in other countries quote it and other lines from Fargo and want you to talk to them in that accent.
17. You’re from the 612.
18. Every party you ever went to both ended and started with Prince.
Most people you know have a story about sighting him somewhere in the city. He is hands down the BEST reason that people in other parts of the country and world have heard of Minneapolis. He gives our city some true pride. RIP Prince.
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