1. The gift of flight.
You know how for millennia, humans would look up at the sky and dream of flying like birds, only to sigh about how it could never be possible? Yeah, we thought that was bullshit and fixed it.
2. Marching bands that people actually want to watch.
3. The best goddamn ice cream on the planet.
4. Bart Simpson.
Or at least his voice.
5. Langston Hughes.
The Titan of jazz poetry had his first poem published in his Cleveland high school’s newspaper.
R.L. Stine is from Columbus. You’re welcome, everyone in fourth grade in the 90’s.
7. Jurassic Park.
Or, more specifically, Steven Spielberg. So also Jaws, Indiana Jones, and E.T..
8. Pretty much all of the astronauts.
We were first on the moon, world. Never forget it.
9. The lightbulb.
Thomas Edison is typically more associated with New Jersey, but he was born in Milan. Ohioans: letting there be light since 1879.
10. Paul Newman.
Oh, those eyes.
11. Sex in the City.
Or Sarah Jessica Parker, more specifically.
12. The Naked Cowboy.
Times Square’s most famous naked street celebrity is a Cincinnatian.
13. The 2015 Song of the Summer.
No, not “Uptown Funk.” This:
14. The Righteous Brothers.
What would Tom Cruise have sung to Kelly McGillis without “You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling”? Nothing. The world’s greatest action movie, ruined without Ohio.
15. The undivided United States of America.
Without Ulysses S. Grant and William Tecumseh Sherman, would we have won the Civil War? Probably, but we’ll take credit for it anyway.
16. King James.
Ohio boys always come home.
A delicious product invented by P&G.
18. Alcoholics Anonymous.
The addiction support group was founded by Akron native Bob Smith.
Okay, we didn’t invent this at all, but one of the world’s most prominent feminists, Gloria Steinem, is from Toledo.
20. Cincinnati chili.
21. Rock ‘n’ roll.
We can claim the name rock ‘n’ roll, if not the entire genre itself.
And one bad thing:
Charles Manson. Yeah, that one’s our bad, guys. Sorry about that.