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28 Things You'll Never Hear Someone From Alaska Say

Alaska Student Work
by Valerie Stimac Bailey Mar 3, 2016

1. As Alaskan ski resorts go, Alyeska is #3 on my list.

2. I took the People Mover to work today.

3. Denali is such an eyesore on a clear day, right?

4. I’m pretty sure I’ve done all the hikes around here.

5. My summer job isn’t in tourism this year.

6. When you car starts to slide on the ice, just slam on the breaks, trust me.

7. I just love when the cruise ship tourists arrive in their fashionable white tennis shoes!

8. I live next door to Sarah Palin in my igloo, and I mush to work every day.

9. You know what I hate? Getting my free Permanent Fund Dividend from the state every year. It really ruins my budgets!

10. Let’s go to Homer for our beach vacation this year.

11. You know what would be fun? Let’s drive to our vacation in Seattle.

12. No, I’ve never secretly wanted to ride in the basket of a sled dog team.

13. I’ve never felt an earthquake.

14. It’s kind of quaint how there’s only one highway in and out of town, isn’t it?

16. Going out for drinks along 4th Avenue in Anchorage sounds like a great idea.

17. No, I swear I’ve never wiped out on the ice before.

18. I’m not sure we have enough microbreweries and breweries to choose from.

19. It’s summer, I don’t have an ice scraper in my car.

20. I don’t mind seeing the sun for only 10 minutes per day this winter. I don’t want it to ruin the pale look I’m rocking.

21. That bus from Into the Wild? Oh yeah, you can make it there and back in a day. That Chris McCandless guy was so revolutionary.

22. Sometimes I get tired of seeing the Northern Lights.

23. I think I’m going to skip putting on winter tires this year.

24. The Anchorage Saturday Market is the least crowded on the weekend, I promise.

25. Put salt on the ice? Oh no, I only use dirt. It’s better for the environment, and I think it actually makes it less slippery.

26. It’s only 55 degrees? Still too cold for shorts!

27. I always have a hard time deciding which of our sports teams to cheer for…!

28. It’s going to be below freezing tomorrow? I’d better stay indoors.

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