1. “Jack…that’s a bourbon, right?”
2. “I really commend Iron Man 3 with its spot-on depiction of Chattanooga.”
3. “Meh. The state could be redder.”
4. “He ended the argument with ‘I’ll pray for you,’ so everything’s probably fine.”
5. “Actually, I root for the Denver Broncos solely because they’re an all-around fantastic team.”