56 Things You Will Never Hear a Londoner Say

by Sarah Elizabeth Jones Aug 21, 2015

1. It’s so easy and affordable to get onto the property ladder.

2. I never queue.

3. Sure, invade my personal space a bit more.

4. Cornwall is so ugly.

5. London could do with a couple more people, don’t you think?

6. I completely understand all of the northern accents.

7. I don’t want to join in with your rendition of Wonderwall right now.

8. Or Mr Brightside.

9. Or the Bohemian Rhapsody.

10. Don’t you just love the Tories?

11. Yes, I think Tony Blair was my favourite Prime Minister too.

12. I always put the milk in my tea first.

13. There just aren’t enough Wetherspoons about are there?

14. Why don’t people stand on the left of the escalator anymore?

15. It doesn’t kill me inside that Freddos now cost 65p.

16. My Nandos wasn’t cheeky enough.

17. The coolest people sit at the back of the bus.

18. I manage to get so much stuff done from the time I have save writing ‘K’ instead of ‘OK’.

19. Nah, I’ll give after work drinks a miss tonight mate.

20. I don’t drink during the week.

21. I’d kill for some Jellied Eels.

22. I’ve not been sent any Candy Crush requests this week.

23. I can’t remember what rain looks like.

24. I’ve not had to wear a jacket through any of the summer months.

25. Have you seen how great my tan is?!

26. Nah mate, don’t fancy a holiday this year.

27. I bloody love Leicester Square.

28. I’d never eat Street food from Camden.

29. Or end up in Proud.

30. I don’t think Dalston is Hipster enough.

31. I’ve never been on a Tinder date.

32. Its so easy to meet people in this City.

33. Everyone is so friendly.

34. Anyone fancy getting a salad before the night bus home?

35. Everything is in walking distance.

36. I’ve always dreamed of living in Zone 6.

37. All my mates find it really easy to come to pre-drinks here.

38. Going to see the Dinosaurs in the Natural History Museum is so childish.

39. All the day festivals through the summer are so affordable.

40. Transport strikes are my favourite part of the year.

41. No, please, come and scream next to my ear small children.

42. I’ve never fallen in love on the Tube.

43. I don’t read Rush Hour Crush whenever I get a copy of the Metro.

44. Burrito’s at lunchtime are the worst idea ever.

45. Big Ben is the most fascinating thing about this city.

46. I’ve been to all of the tourist attractions.

47. Yes that’s correct; I am friends with the Queen.

48. I’ve never humiliated myself in front of a celebrity when they’ve walked past.

49. Beer at lunch? Are you some kind of monster?

50. There really aren’t enough writers in London are there?

51. Or journalists.

52. Or bankers.

53. Or recruiters.

54. I can never find live music.

55. I bloody love my oyster card.

56. Maybe it’s because I’m a Londoner…

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