…and strong enough to give you jitters until dawn. Having a cup of chai doesn’t mean swilling that wan hipster shit Oprah is hawking at Starbucks. Unless your friends are from South East Asia, your chai is most likely black tea with tons of sugar. Don’t tell them that this is the way most people drink their tea.
Your Muslim friends will hug and kiss you all the time for nearly every emotion. My favorites are the “I-am-happy-to-see-you” hug (maybe six hours after you just saw your friend), and the “your-boyfriend-is-a-jerk; dump-him” hug — unless your friend is a guy then he will just tell you like it is.
If you think you are going to a friend’s flat to help with something or drop off a textbook, then leave, you are sorely mistaken. Instead, you will end up chatting over tea and sweets. If your drop-in call is at night then be prepared for dinner and dancing. There is no point in arguing about not hanging out — because your friend will always talk you into it.
Nothing makes friendships deeper than using a piece of string to remove upper lip hair. The more hair removed the more boyfriends you’ll have. I haven’t figured out if more boyfriends is a curse or not. It’s cheap therapy and my skin has never looked better. Plus, I get to gossip all I want.
They were going to be near your neighborhood and they just returned from a trip seeing their aunty and brought you baklava, lokum, and pismaniye. They are always in a rush in between errands but somehow look like they stepped out of an issue of Elle while you’re wearing sweat pants. You will never be as good of a host. 