1. Embrace the fact that you’re going to need to drive to the bordering county (or state) to buy alcohol a lot — because you most likely live where it’s dry.
3. Drink blueberry pie moonshine from a mason jar without hacking up a lung.
4. Have a spiritual experience — possibly involving blueberry pie moonshine — atop Charlies Bunion in the Great Smoky Mountains.
5. Start preferring it dry over wet…in terms of barbecue.
6. Start rooting for the Denver Broncos solely for Peyton Manning.
7. Never enter a restaurant on Sundays after noon — so you can avoid waiting 45 minutes for a table in a sea of churchgoers while still rocking the same outfit that reeks of cigarettes and beer from the night before.
8. Explain to out-of-towners that the soundtrack to your life is, in fact, not country music.
(And yeah, you do know Bristol is the true birthplace of the genre, not Nashville.)
9. Survive driving over the terror that is Monteagle, while contemplating going off one of the runaway truck ramps.
10. Jump from the rocks along the upper Ocoee, site of the 1996 Olympic whitewater canoe and kayak competition.
11. Acknowledge that a “meat and three” makes for a perfectly suitable balanced meal.
12. Stock up on more school supplies than you’d ever possibly need during Tax Free Weekend.
13. Between Six Flags and Dollywood, pick Dolly every time.
14. Fight tooth and nail to defend Krystal’s soggy, little square steamed burgers against White Castle’s equally soggy, little square steamed burgers. Krystal’s is superior.
15. Respect that any questionable snow prediction means school cancellations for a week. Even if it never spits a lick of snow.
16. Start going to the Jack Daniel’s Distillery every time you have a hangover.
17. Wave at anyone and everyone you pass on the road, regardless of the relationship or whether you know them at all.
18. Put a fried egg on top of literally everything – pastas, salads, burgers, soups, more eggs.
19. Pretend with your best fervor that you don’t actually despise the color orange.
20. Fry up a MoonPie with a scoop of vanilla.
21. Pronounce it “Mem – phus.”
22. Own the word ‘y’all.’