If we do agree to drive more than 15 minutes for something, we will need directions. But don’t confuse us by using actual street names…we get everywhere by way of landmarks. Many landmarks are long since gone and require further explanation. Acceptable landmarks include restaurants, the Towers, the Coast Guard House or the seawall, the movie theater, URI, and various farm stands. If you tell us, “Go past where the Larchwood Inn used to be” or, “Take a left after the bridge and get on the highway and head toward the Towers,” we’ll know what you mean.
We don’t have a need to know. See number 1. Don’t judge us, at least we know we don’t live in Long Island, NY.
Especially if we don’t know you. We won’t believe you. Even if the compliment is sincere we’ll think either: A) There is something wrong with you, or B) You have an ulterior motive. Either way, it will be clear you don’t know us. Compliments make us uncomfortable and leave us confounded.
I grew up in South County so how on earth can it not exist? Technically, South County is strictly a local term. Towns like Wakefield, Narragansett, and Kingston, are actually in Washington County. We will debate South County’s existence until the end of time.
When we register our cars, the DMV gives us tags.
It’s a cellar. Or in Rhode Islandese, a sellah.
We’re old school. We like what we like, and we like it to stay the same. Change, if ever accepted, will take a long, long time.
Did you not read number 8? Changing the state logo is just irresponsible, especially if it’s base and lacks sensibility. Cooler and warmer? What? How is that possible? We’re the Ocean State, full of hope and anchored in our beliefs. Period.
We live in a realm where green is all about the airport, Brown is about the University, and red is about the Rhode Island Red hens which lay brown eggs. As the old jingle went, “Brown eggs are local eggs, and local eggs are fresh.” White eggs are suspect.
No need to muck up that lovely clam flavor with such nonsense. We eat Rhode Island clam chowder made from clam broth.
Political corruption? Yup, we’ve got that. It comes with the territory. Unpredictable driving habits? Meh. Weird foodie culture? Funny accent? You bettah believe it. Hipster vibe in Providence? Obsession with all things coffee-flavored? Yeah, and we’re proud of it all. Get with the program. And thank you very much for noticing.
Nothing confuses us. As long as you behave like a Rhode Islander.