1. You can actually pronounce Kama Aina when you ask for a kama aina discount.
2. You replace random English words with Hawaiian. You’re a haoli (white girl). After work is pau hana. When you’re done you’re pau. A puka is a hole. And you live up Mauka.
3. Giving street directions to tourists becomes cumbersome. They refer to a route by its number. You have no idea what route number it is – to you, it’s just the main road. And then they have to go and look at you funny when you tell them to go up mauka or that a restaurant is on the makai side of the street.
4. You start every email with Aloha and end with a Mahalo.
5. You show up everywhere on Island time, including work. And no one says a thing.
6. You own one pair of shoes: Local brand slippers. And when they blow out, you go barefoot until your next pair.
7. You can’t go into a house without taking off your slippers. You do this even when visiting relatives on the mainland.
8. You finally realize that when somebody tosses you the Shaka, they may just as well be saying, “%#$* you” as they might “hang loose” or “take it easy, bra.” Trust me.
9. You spend every weekend camping on the beach.
10. You don’t feel like yourself if you go more than a day without seeing the ocean.
11. You think nothing of zipping around on a scooter in bare feet and no helmet.
12. You hitchhike and pick up hitchhikers.
13. You ride in the beds of a pick-up trucks.
14. Spam musubi from the local Tesoro station is your go-to breakfast.
15. Poi starts making an appearance at every meal.
16. You start referring to your friends and neighbors as Auntie This and Auntie That.
17. You pull out a sweater, hat and fur-lined boots when the temperature drops below 70F.
18. When surf’s up, well, surf’s up.
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