Save every last peso to throw your daughter a quinceñera that keeps up with the Joneses.
Basically, the day she turns 15 she expects an over-the-top wedding, minus the groom. And, because she has been coddled and treated like a princess since the day she was born, she will get it.
Start with buying her a formal ball gown (the more sparkles and ruffles the better, and bonus points if it comes in a headache-inducing, near-neon color). Set up a professional photoshoot to nail the shot of her that will go on the hundreds of glossy invites. Once she is looking somewhere between ‘inappropriately provocative for an almost 15-year old’ but not quite ‘full-on slutty,’ you’ve got the shot. Definitely buy a red rose for her to bite ‘innocently yet seductively’ between her teeth for at least one of the shots. Rent the hall, mail out the invites, and set up catering for unlimited booze and food for a night (and following morning) of Fernet-drunk dancing to anything from tango to Cumbia, and good-intentioned but completely awkward speeches about her transition to womanhood. Rest well knowing that what goes around, comes around — you will be drinking on some other parent’s dime soon enough.