Photo: jfeinn

How to Piss Off Someone From Rhode Island

Rhode Island
by Jenna McCrory Sep 15, 2016

Show up with a posse of kooks to surf hurricane swell.

Rhode Island surfers wait all year for hurricane swell, and when a good one finally shows up, so do lots of out-of-staters. What really pisses us off is when non-locals roll up in big groups and act like they own the waves, or worse, are such kooks they put the rest of the line-up in danger.

Tear down a cute beach cottage and rebuild it as a mansion.

Building a three-story monstrosity as your vacation home adversely changes the entire feel of our quaint beach towns. You are never there, so why do you need it to be so big?

Treat Newport like Las Vegas.

No, you cannot take your drink outside of the bar, and please stop trying to get naked in the street. That street you are looking for is called Thames, pronounced “thām-z,” not “temz.”

Ask where Quahog is.

Sorry to disappoint, Quahog is a fictional town only in the TV show Family Guy; it is not a real place.

Predict an extra cold and snowy winter.

Winter is not our favorite season, so when the weatherman predicts a longer, colder, snowier winter, we get frustrated and angry. Can’t it just be summer all the time?

Mistake Rhode Island for Long Island.

It is an embarrassment to our nation’s education system that so many Americans have no idea Rhode Island is a state. To be clear, Rhode Island is the smallest of the 50 states in the United States, and no, it is not a part of New York.

Make fun of its size.

We do not find humor in comments like “I didn’t know I was driving through Rhode Island, I must have blinked.” We may be small, but we pack a lot of natural beauty, good food, and art into our state.

Drink Del’s Lemonade with a straw.

It is a frozen lemonade drink, and the ice cannot be sipped through a straw. Plus, it just looks silly.

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