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14 Signs You Were Born and Raised in British Columbia

British Columbia
by Jordan Oram Dec 16, 2014
1. You know the real seasons of BC.

Where’s the snow? There’s too much snow! Spring is here. Everything will flood! Will it ever stop raining? Where is summer? Why is it so hot? Droughts and fires! Where’s the rain? Why is summer leaving so soon? Still sunny in autumn! Where’s the snow?

2. You’re pissed off every time you see a new British Columbia license plate go by.

It will always be ‘Supernatural’ BC in your heart, not some lame corporate slogan brought in for the Vancouver Olympics. “Super Natural British Columbia” evoked awe and wonder. “Best Place On Earth” starts petty unproductive cockfights when you’d rather be hiking in the forest, climbing up a mountain, or kayaking along a misty temperate shoreline.

3. You are ‘Bear Aware’.

Bears are the slow uncle of the buffet table. This is proven time and again after numerous bear encounters while walking to the school bus stop. You stay out of their way, give them space, and it’ll all be ok. Oh, and never turn your back and run away making wounded animal noises (also known as screaming). Rookie mistake.

4. You’ve spent hours, even days, of summer vacations in the BC Ferries line-up on a two or three sailing wait.

Whether you’re going to Vancouver Island, ’Up The Coast’, or from there to the mainland, you have passed those few precious weeks when “it’s too hot out” with your ass literally stuck to a vinyl car seat in a BC Ferries parking lot waiting for the arrival of the Queen of Oak Bay, or the Spirit of Vancouver Island to pull into port (God help you if it wasn’t refurbished with a White Spot and an arcade). You peeled yourself off the seat to get an ice cream cone in downtown Horseshoe Bay only to have it melt onto your shoes. Tedium. Hot, sticky tedium.

5. You split firewood like a badass.

You probably learned axe / fire / knife safety in kindergarten.

6. You know there are actually no less than 15 words for rain.

There is mist, drizzle, sprinkling, smattering, spitting, dripping, a deluge, a downpour, a torrential downpour…

7. You know Gore-Tex is sexy.

Whether you’re rocking a high-end Lulu slicker, a “this is my lifestyle” MEC classic, or last year’s MEC from the thrift store (score!) you have rain protection. And don’t even get us started on fashionable rainboots.

8. Some of your best friends are mountains.

Sure, there’s always been the ever-popular twins, Whistler and Blackcomb, and maybe you rode up there (either you came from West Vancouver or South Granville and had a “winter chateau” in the family, or you shared a room with seven dudes and survived on pizza by the slice) but the rest of us knew the glory of Sun Peaks, Big White, Cypress, Grouse, Washington, Apex, Fernie, Revelstoke, and Silver Star.

9. You laughed so hard you cried when they tried to revoke Rebagliati’s gold medal in ‘98.

Ah yes, marijuana. The ultimate performance enhancing drug.

10. You can prepare salmon in no less than seven different ways.

Sweet, perfect BC salmon. Fresh grilled. Baked. Barbequed. Poached. Smoked and sliced. Chunked, Maple syruped. Flaked and caked. Raw and Sashimi’d. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

11. You spent much of your elementary years ducking under a desk.

Always preparing for “The Big One” that will eventually destroy the lower mainland. You spent a lot of that time wondering just how much protection this desk was actually offering you.

12. You own/ed Vancouver Grizzlies paraphernalia.

For six seasons we had the NBA. And then it was gone.

13. Some of your best memories are from the PNE.

Mini-donuts, the log slide, and of course, squealing your way down the Coaster.

14. You still get choked up when you see the We Are All Canucks billboards.

Whether you are one generation BC or nine, whether you love or hate (or both) them, whether you lit a car on fire in 2011 or not, whether your childhood idols were Bure, Linden, Naslund, Messier, Bertuzzi, the West Coast Express, the Sedins, or Louuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, those billboards get you every time.

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