1. You order calimocho at every bar and bartenders don’t know how to make it or charge you for it.
2. You expect free chupitos just for walking into a club.
3. You won’t drink the sangria offered at your friend’s bridal shower.
4. You get in trouble with the law frequently for hosting a botellón.
5. You’re willing to road trip whatever distance for a copa de Mahou Clásica.
6. You hardly go out with your friends any more because you’re still having dinner while they’re leaving the bar plastered.
7. You’re unpleasantly surprised every time you order a “mini” cocktail and end up with a very tiny drink instead.
8. You insist on buying all alcohol before 10pm.
9. You’ve been found under your desk at work taking a siesta after lunch…more than once.
10. Every time you have to call an Uber before sunrise because the bars have closed, you’re extremely disappointed.
11. You’re constantly searching for an Irish pub that serves sidra de magners just so you can feel like you’re out with friends in Madrid again.
12. Nobody ever wants to chant “¡Pa’ arriba, pa’ abajo, pa’ all centro, pa’ dentro!” with you.
13. You’ve been kicked out of bars for throwing trash on the ground (as a sign of appreciation).
14. Your friends won’t go to dinner with you any more because you refuse to pay for appetizers.
15. You dream of the days when you could try 10 flavored shots for 1 euro each at a chupitería.
16. You have trouble watching fútbol because it just isn’t the same without cheap tapas and men yelling “¡Corre! ¡Corre!”
17. You have the best drinking stamina of all your friends, which means you party alone a lot.
18. Your order drinks at business lunches.
19. You throw a fit whenever your beer doesn’t come with a free bocadillo.
20. Your friends are sick of hearing you describe the difference between a caña, a tubo, and a jarra of beer.
21. You’re the only one eating a dozen grapes at midnight instead of trying to score a New Year’s kiss
22. While your friends are pounding beer in the summer, you’re all about getting a buzz on poolside with tinto de verano.
23. You bring cava to dinner parties and defend its honor against champagne.
24. You always prep for a big night out by taking a siesta.
25. After every Spanish fútbol match, you can be found partying around the nearest fountain or open square chanting “¡Yo soy Español, Español, Español!”
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