Photo: Kzenon/Shutterstock

17 Signs You Learned to Drink in Wisconsin

by Samantha Bilkey May 27, 2016

1. When you travel, you’re the one teaching bartenders how to make an Old Fashioned — brandy or whiskey, lemon-lime soda, made sweet or sour and topped with bitters and an olive.

2. You only excel at cornhole if you have a beer in your hand.

3. If you’re visiting relatives or friends out of state, you take a case of New Glarus with you.

4. Grabbing a roadie is the only way to deal with the bar closing down.

5. You show up at least five hours early to every Brewer or Packer game or even the annual two-night Dave Matthews’ show in Alpine Valley — always with two full cases of Miller and Coors Lite.

6. You’re slightly ashamed but mostly proud of the fact that Wisconsin is generally considered America’s Drunkest State.

7. You insist the Brewers play better the drunker you get — and you try to fit in as much as you can before the end of the seventh inning when they stop serving.

8. There’s no better after-bar-close snack in Milwaukee or Madison than a giant slice of Ian’s macaroni-and-cheese pizza.

9. You know the end of the UW semester is here when one weekend Madhatters is completely empty, and then later the next week it’s packed to the brim with students.

10. You’ve put your exams on hold to dress up in red and white and hit up the Mifflin Street block party.

11. Going to Water Street for St. Paddy’s Day takes weeks of planning in advance.

12. Your family’s #1 deer hunting rule: when the beers come out, the guns go away.

13. There’s no fancier wine than Door County’s cherry version.

14. Every morning in Milwaukee is usually spent drinking off a hangover with a Fried Chicken Bloody Mary from Sobelman’s.

15. The only way to get through a Wisconsin winter is to perfect your Tom and Jerry warm eggnog recipe.

16. The key to a balanced meal is a good lager in your hand and beer-boiled bratwurst or cod on your plate.

17. You know the true meaning of drinking Wisconsinbly.

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