How to Piss Off a Female Bartender

Touch us inappropriately

We are bartenders, not escorts. Unfortunately it seems as though some individuals confuse the two. This is assault, and you will be forcefully evicted out the door.

Tell us to smile

Do people walk around your office telling you to smile while you’re sitting at your desk?

Snap or whistle

The same goes for waving your money, shouting, or literally anything else that you wouldn’t do out in the real world.

Say “Nice tits,” or any other derogatory comment

This behaviour is completely unacceptable. Sexual harassment makes me want to punch people in the face. The high road, however, is far more effective and worth the effort.

Assume we don’t have any structure in our lives

There’s a misconception that we are always all drunk, promiscuous, living paycheck-to-paycheck and this is simply not true.

Assume we are uneducated

Tending bar is a hard, dirty, working-class job and so many people seem to think that any bimbo can do it. Wrong! Not every bartender necessarily has a college education but a whole lot do. Sure, it’s often in something like Philosophy or History, but believe me, the person serving your drinks is more likely than not, extremely intelligent.

Body shaming

Apparently wearing a tank top, even though it can be hot as balls, is an automatic invitation for people to comment on our bodies. It’s not all men though — women are guilty of this, too.