1. There are no green spaces in Cleveland.

2. It’s just an ugly city to look at.

3. There’s absolutely no good beer.

4. Impossible to find good live music.

5. The neighborhoods are completely dead.

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6. Not a single slice of edible pizza.

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7. This definitely isn’t one of the greatest orchestras in the world.

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8. Fresh local food is for losers.

9. Seriously! No good beer!

10. Nowhere to go to catch a flick or 100.

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11. There’s just no PRIDE here.

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12. We don’t know how to throw a party.

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13. Lake Erie is a dead zone.

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14. Absolutely nothing to do there.

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15. Not to mention not a single good restaurant.

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16. And food trucks drive straight through.

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17. Just absolutely not a single redeeming thing here.

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