1. Try to outdo the region with the longest championship drought in sports misery.
Nobody competes with Cleveland in sports misery. Yeah, the Cubs have been lovable losers for a century, but that’s actually a sweet dish of schadenfreude for the entire south side of Chicago who have seen their baseball team when a World Series in recent memory. Not to mention the Bulls, Bears and now Blackhawks have had dominant runs over the past 30 years.
Cleveland hasn’t won a damn thing since 1964. So no more complaining, Chicago. And that goes for any other major league city with at least a successful team in the mix. If nothing else, nothing beats Northern Ohio when it comes to sports misery. Just look at our mountain of catastrophes: The Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, The Move, The Mesa… and that’s merely a sampling.