Photo: Merla/Shutterstock

20 Signs You Learned to Drink in Oklahoma City

Student Work Food + Drink
by Cate Brantley Jun 22, 2015

1. Your favorite drinking game involves a stormy night and former local weatherman/Oklahoma royalty, Gary England.


2. You still do all your pre-gaming with plastic cups from Fuzzy’s Tacos or Irma’s Burger Shack.


3. When you hear the word ‘lunchbox’ — you know it’s not the plastic Power Rangers version with a smashed PB&J and some Jello.


4. Your beer drinking friends can be divided into Choc v. COOP lovers just as easily as IPA v. Wheat.


5. You rarely go out in Bricktown because you don’t want to walk past the free parking lot at Bass Pro Shop to get back to your car at the end of the night.


6. When a bartender yells last call at 1:30 a.m., you only roll your eyes and casually pull up Uber on your phone rather than stand in disbelief at how early it is.


7. The late Skyy Bar conjures up pissed off memories of watered down drinks, a laughable cover charge and racial profiling.


8. You’ve had to use Bricktown’s only public bathroom (yes, the one outside of Hooters) more times than you’d like to admit.


9. You panic every time you realize that it’s 8:50 p.m. on a Saturday and you haven’t bought booze for that night or even brunch the next morning.


10. You consider Byron’s Liquor Warehouse to be your version of El Dorado — except the treasures you find there bring you a blackout instead of gold and glory.


11. It doesn’t concern you when every television in the bar is turned to severe weather coverage. And you know to take a shot when the tornado sirens start going off.


12. You’ve been to many a bachelorette party at Copa and you’re not afraid to say that it’s actually one of the most fun bars in the city — whether you’re gay or straight.


13. You let the drastically embellished advertisements of City Walk entice you one time. Just once — not counting the other three times you can’t remember.


14. You’ve gotten confused more than once trying to hit up Edna’s, The Drunken Fry, or Hilo and ended up back on I-44.


15. You know the pain of craving craft beer past 9 p.m. but having to settle for a 6-pack of PBR pounders from the nearest gas station instead.


16. Wednesday isn’t just Hump Day — it’s Burger Night at McNellies, which means burgers on the cheap and piping hot sweet potato fries. Come to mama.


17. You’ve been ashamed to see yourself tagged in Robotic Wednesdays’ fisheye lens photos on Facebook Thursday morning. And you’ve had to wear the black ‘X’ of shame on your hand for days before it finally faded away and put you out of your misery.


18. You were thrilled to finally try sake with your California roll at Sushi Neko, but then quickly switched to Sapporo when your more sophisticated friends weren’t looking.


19. You like to think of yourself as incredibly cultured while drinking on top of the art museum on Thursdays — even though that’s literally the only time you ever find yourself there.


20. While others are soaking up the Lord’s presence on Sunday morning, all you can do is drag yourself to Pearl’s Champagne Brunch for cheese grits and Bloody Mary’s.


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