The 32 funniest Alabama expressions (and how to use them)

1.

Alabamians don’t “press” elevator buttons … they “mash” them.

2.

Alabamians don’t get “upset” … they “throw a hissy fit.”

3.

Alabamians don’t say “over there” … they say “up yonder.”

4.

Alabamians wouldn’t call you “pretentious” … they’ll say you’re “too big for your britches.”

5.

Alabamians don’t say “I’m about to” … they say “I’m fixin’ to.”

6.

Alabamians don’t tell you to wait before rushing a decision … they say “don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”

7.

Alabamians don’t just say “I’m nervous” … they say “nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”

8.

Alabamians don’t ask you to move from in front of the television … they ask “is your daddy a window maker?”

9.

Alabamians don’t say “snobby” … they say “uppity.”

10.

Alabamians don’t tell you that you’re dressed immodestly … they call you a “floozy.”

11.

Alabamians don’t say “delicious” … they say “slap-yo’-mama good.”

12.

Alabamians don’t say “turn off the oven” … they say “cut off the oven.”

13.

Alabamians don’t tell you that you’re “rude” … they’ll say you were “raised in a barn.”

14.

Alabamians don’t say “this item is vintage” … they say “it’s old as dirt.”

15.

Alabamians don’t get “upset” … they get “madder than a wet hen.”

16.

Alabamians don’t tell you that you’re “unattractive” … they say you’re “ugly as sin.”

17.

Alabamians don’t say “there’s a storm coming” … they say “it’s coming up a cloud.”

18.

Alabamians don’t say “misbehaving children” … they say “heathens.”

19.

Alabamians don’t say “throw this away” … they “chunk it.”

20.

Alabamians don’t say “I’m tired” … they say “I’m tuckered out.”

21.

Alabamians don’t question your intelligence … they say you’re “dumb as a box of rocks.”

22.

Alabamians don’t tell you that you’re being “slow” … they say you’re “slow as molasses.”

23.

Alabamians don’t say “you’re a nice person” … they say “you’re sweet.”

24.

Alabamians don’t say “I’m craving grits” … they say “I have a hankerin’ for grits.”

25.

Alabamians don’t get “furious” … they get “mad as hell.”

26.

Alabamians don’t say “I’ll call you later” … they say “I’ll holler at you.”

27.

Alabamians don’t “lash out” … they “fly off the handle.”

28.

Alabamians don’t say “you all” or “you guys” … they say “y’all.”

29.

Alabamians don’t “assume” … they “reckon so.”

30.

Alabamians don’t say “it’ll be okay” … they say “God willin’ and the creek don’t rise.”

31.

Alabamians don’t say “poor thing” … they say “bless your heart.” (With sincerity or sarcasm? We’ll never tell!)

32.

Alabamians don’t say “you’re ugly” … they say “fell out of an ugly tree.” Bonus points for adding “and hit every branch on the way down.”