1.
Alabamians don’t “press” elevator buttons … they “mash” them.
2.
Alabamians don’t get “upset” … they “throw a hissy fit.”
3.
Alabamians don’t say “over there” … they say “up yonder.”
4.
Alabamians wouldn’t call you “pretentious” … they’ll say you’re “too big for your britches.”
5.
Alabamians don’t say “I’m about to” … they say “I’m fixin’ to.”
6.
Alabamians don’t tell you to wait before rushing a decision … they say “don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”
7.
Alabamians don’t just say “I’m nervous” … they say “nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”
8.
Alabamians don’t ask you to move from in front of the television … they ask “is your daddy a window maker?”
9.
Alabamians don’t say “snobby” … they say “uppity.”
10.
Alabamians don’t tell you that you’re dressed immodestly … they call you a “floozy.”
11.
Alabamians don’t say “delicious” … they say “slap-yo’-mama good.”
12.
Alabamians don’t say “turn off the oven” … they say “cut off the oven.”
13.
Alabamians don’t tell you that you’re “rude” … they’ll say you were “raised in a barn.”
14.
Alabamians don’t say “this item is vintage” … they say “it’s old as dirt.”
15.
Alabamians don’t get “upset” … they get “madder than a wet hen.”
16.
Alabamians don’t tell you that you’re “unattractive” … they say you’re “ugly as sin.”
17.
Alabamians don’t say “there’s a storm coming” … they say “it’s coming up a cloud.”
18.
Alabamians don’t say “misbehaving children” … they say “heathens.”
19.
Alabamians don’t say “throw this away” … they “chunk it.”
20.
Alabamians don’t say “I’m tired” … they say “I’m tuckered out.”
21.
Alabamians don’t question your intelligence … they say you’re “dumb as a box of rocks.”
22.
Alabamians don’t tell you that you’re being “slow” … they say you’re “slow as molasses.”
23.
Alabamians don’t say “you’re a nice person” … they say “you’re sweet.”
24.
Alabamians don’t say “I’m craving grits” … they say “I have a hankerin’ for grits.”
25.
Alabamians don’t get “furious” … they get “mad as hell.”
26.
Alabamians don’t say “I’ll call you later” … they say “I’ll holler at you.”
27.
Alabamians don’t “lash out” … they “fly off the handle.”
28.
Alabamians don’t say “you all” or “you guys” … they say “y’all.”
29.
Alabamians don’t “assume” … they “reckon so.”
30.
Alabamians don’t say “it’ll be okay” … they say “God willin’ and the creek don’t rise.”
31.
Alabamians don’t say “poor thing” … they say “bless your heart.” (With sincerity or sarcasm? We’ll never tell!)
32.
Alabamians don’t say “you’re ugly” … they say “fell out of an ugly tree.” Bonus points for adding “and hit every branch on the way down.” 
