THE BIG CITY may be just one city, but each Manhattan neighborhood is a fully functioning world onto itself, which attracts its own unique personality types. Here is a guide to the dramatic caricatures of the singles you will meet, based on the coordinates you find yourself in; it will help you choose your subway stop accordingly.
Chad is 32. He’s worked at the same hedge fund for the last seven years and he just landed a sweet promotion. He moved to Manhattan eight years ago, hopping around from FiDi to Murray Hill to the Hoboken, and finally back to FiDi when it was time to move out from living with his best bro and get his own place. He’s been back in FiDi for three years and he loves the bachelor pad life. He’s out entertaining clients at least twice a week on the company dollar, so it’s kind of hard to keep up the workouts, but #dadbods are working for Leo and Toby, so it works for him. Plus, he has no problem picking up chicks at Stone Street happy hours. He has time to settle down, he’s only 32…
Sarah is 23, but with the right amount of eye makeup she can fully pull off 25. She graduated from Vanderbilt last year and she is SO friggin’ excited to be living on her own…in Manhattan…totally for the first time! Can you believe it?! She landed a job as an Executive Assistant at Bravo. She is, guilty pleasure, SO obsessed with The Real Housewives. She makes, like, no money, but mom and dad will cover her rent (okay, and Soul Cycle classes) for at least the next year. Plus, her building has so many amenities, even though she has to live in a flex room in an apartment with 3 other girls. She totally wouldn’t have it any other way; they are her sorority sisters and BFFs — so completely inseparable. Sarah loves going out in LES and Murray Hill, but Stone Street is where all the hot finance guys go for happy hour and she is obvs down to flirt it up for a free drink while she works on her MRS degree (aka, putting a ring on it).
Fabian is not the type of man who needs to reveal his age. He is a self-proclaimed citizen of the world, and rightfully so. He was born in China, grew up in LA, lived in Dubai and several European cities. He went to Columbia and has an MBA in International Business. He is an entrepreneur and a man of good tastes, which he loves to show off (and share with whatever lady is in his life). Have you seen his Versace collection? Check this out! They opened the flagship store after hours, just for him to shop! His apartment on Horatio Street is sleek and modern, but minimalistic. He never spends too much time there; he’s always traveling. When he is in town, he can be found at Cielo or Provocateur, at a VIP bottle service table surrounded by beautiful women.
Brianne is 19. She just arrived in New York from Missouri, where a modeling agent discovered her. She never saw herself in a big city, but no one is surprised by her new career. She’s stunning, in a very high fashion, underrated sort of way. Her agent said she’s on track to walk in New York Fashion Week. She’s living in a big flat provided by the agency, alongside several other freshly discovered models. She doesn’t really have time for men right now, between go-sees and fittings. On the off chance you find her in a club (the agency requires appearances for publicity), she won’t be drinking.
Tim is 25. He just moved in with his two friends in a duplex apartment on Morton Street. Post-college (where he attended UPenn) he lived in a studio on the Upper East Side with his girlfriend (now ex). Now that he’s single, he wants to be downtown. He’s not the club type, more of an upscale sports bar guy. He has a heavy hand with alcohol and a fast finger on Tinder. He’s having a great time with his guys, don’t get him wrong, but deep down, he’s looking for a girl he can bring home to mom and dad.
Sarah is 29. She just moved into a one bedroom on her favorite cobble-stoned street. The West Village is her fairy tale fantasy of New York City, and with her new job as head of marketing for a trendy wine subscription startup, Winc, she can finally afford it. She is a Rachel (of her favorite show, Friends), but she didn’t have the same luxury of having her parents support her; she is self-made. Naturally, she spends a lot of her time at wine bars with her girls. Her look channels Carrie Bradshaw — effortless but wildly chic. She spent her twenties dating some questionable characters, but all of her friends are settling down and she’s ready to meet someone more serious. Speaking of which: seriously, do you know anyone you can set her up with?
Lower East Side
Liam is 34. He’s lived in Manhattan for too long. His plan is to get out and move to the beach. But for now, he’s the head of creative at a startup by day, artist by night. He’s environmentally conscious and a partyer. He knows every bar owner on the Lower East Side and runs in an artsy crowd. He has hair grown out past his shoulders. His style is larger than life. He looks like Andrew W.K. and Dave Grohl had a love child. He may or may not deal pot, but either way, he is always high. Liam is looking for a girl but he’s in no rush to find her. He hates a dinner and movie date — you’ll find him pounding shots and beers with his Tinder matches…on a Tuesday.
Maxi is 26. She works at an art gallery down the block from her Ludlow Street loft. She freelance writes for Vice as a side hustle and is working on a book about her dysfunctional upbringing outside of Hartford, Connecticut and the impact it had on her feminist activism. She never wears makeup and she’s always in Converse. On the weekends, she goes to raves in Brooklyn and works at Artist & Fleas with her pseudo-boyfriend. But they’re not exclusive. She refuses to adhere to restricting labels.