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9 Inevitable Side Effects of Living in Wisconsin

by Katie Hinkfuss Jun 9, 2017

1. Becoming tougher.

These challenges really will make you a stronger person: braving the snow, freezing cold, treacherously icy roads, countless frigid mornings helplessly searching for any sign of life (i.e. your car) beneath the frozen tundra that used to be your street.

2. Fully embracing the four seasons.

Wisconsin winter is extremely cold, spring and fall are extremely unpredictable, and summer is extremely gorgeous. When you have such extremes and never know how long anything may last, you live life in the moment, i.e., never wanting to go inside during the summer, learning to love winter sports during the cold months, and not getting too bent out of shape over the fun house that spring and fall can be. At least it’s not snowing. Oh, wait, unless it is…

3. Turning into a cheese snob.

If you have become used to aged cheddar (the older the better), fresh cheese curds, and the stringiest string cheese, then you know American cheese just doesn’t cut it.

4. Becoming a lifelong Packers fan.

Once you join the Pack, there is no going back. Get ready to see your wardrobe accumulate more and more green and gold. Every Sunday during the season will gain a new special importance.

5. Consuming alcohol will be taken to a whole new level.

Wisconsin has one of the top ten party schools in America (UW Madison), and the beer capital of the US (Milwaukee), for a reason: people here really like to drink. Not only do they like it, they do it in style. A beer has never tasted so good than at a quaint beer garden with giant soft pretzels. Any bar you visit that does not serve Old Fashioneds sorely disappoints you. And until you get to experience Jump-Around-With-Thousands-Of-Other-Badger-Fans-At-Camp-Randall, you have not truly lived.

6. Your accent and vernacular will change.

Expect to start pronouncing your vowels a bit more (“baaaag,” “mooom”, and “boooooat”) and tossing around words like “bubbler” daily.

7. You will become a great parallel parker.

Wisconsin is not known for having great public transportation, so Wisconsinites need to drive a lot. Combine that with snowdrifts as big as your car eating up most of the available parking spots, and you got yourself some amazing parallel parkers.

8. You will be able to pronounce Native American words and names properly.

Too many non-Native Americans in the state do not know much about Wisconsin’s Native American roots and present-day communities — beyond the fact that Potowatomi Casino is named after a tribe. However, almost all Wisconsinites can say the names of places such as “Manitowoc,” “Wausau,” and “Oconomowoc” — but most have no idea that they come from Wisconsin’s first languages (Ojibwa, Chippewa, and Potowatomi, respectively).

9. You will expect people to be friendly, all the time.

Wait staff and other people you meet will make you feel warm and gooey inside, and will usually bend over backward to make sure you have a good experience. When people ask you where you are from and if you are enjoying Wisconsin, they genuinely mean it. You will get used to this Midwestern hospitality and come to find anything else just plain rude.

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