Airplane Etiquette 101: Stop Manspreading. You’re Making Seat Space Even Smaller

As the seats have shrunk, so has the legroom. And with less legroom comes space invaders. You might find yourself tucked into your designated seat, only to discover you’re sitting next to a “spreader” — someone who can’t seem to keep their legs together. Straddling the air with outstretched legs, space invaders don’t seem to care that they could (and probably are) invading someone else’s space.

There are gray areas when it comes to airplane etiquette — like who gets the seat armrests or whether passengers should recline their seats — but keeping your lower body within your own assigned seat area seems pretty clear-cut to me.

I’m on the right, with my Kindle in tow, and the stranger I sat next to is on my left. Photo: Kelsey Wilking

I usually buy the cheapest tickets, which means I often end up seated in the middle. As a woman traveler, I’m bewildered to find that my seat area often becomes occupied by men’s legs, stretching beyond their own space and into mine. This has happened to me more times than I can count, including on a recent flight from Nashville to Washington Dulles International Airport. On my flight from Dulles to Barcelona, I spoke with two male flight attendants about this phenomenon. They explained that it’s called “manspreading,” and it’s something they regularly encounter — mostly involving men encroaching on women’s space. When I asked if they receive complaints, they simply said no. In their experience, women often don’t complain, either to avoid retaliation once the flight attendant leaves or because they feel there’s nothing that can be done about it.

I’m clearly not the only one who has experienced a manspreading event. New York City’s Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA), which operates the subway system, launched a marketing campaign in 2014 encouraging people to be courteous and mindful of their surroundings, reminding them not to invade others’ personal space with ads like “Dude…Stop the Spread, Please. It’s a space issue.” Similar asks for men to not spread their legs and take up public space date back at least as far as the 1940s. Sure, spreaders can be any gender, but from my personal experience, women usually stick to their assigned space — often even trying to make themselves smaller to avoid being a burden.

Dude, stop the spread: NYC launches campaign to stop "manspreading" on subway trains. http://t.co/LoHnyw3XYk @MTA pic.twitter.com/pP44m7Lkxa

— FOX 5 DC (@fox5dc) December 22, 2014

So, is there a solution? If you don’t feel comfortable speaking up and asking the offender to stop encroaching on your space, there’s really only one other option. My flight attendant friends suggested asking another male passenger to switch seats, as men generally don’t take up another man’s space. However, flight attendants can only do so much when it comes to asking passengers to be courteous. Even with all the conflict resolution training in the world, they can’t change people. The consensus remains the same: men are far less likely to invade another man’s space but have no problem doing so with women. As a frequent middle-seat occupant, though, asking a man to swap seats with me isn’t a practical solution. (Who wants to trade for a middle seat? Answer: no one.)

In our personal world of electronic devices and noise-canceling headphones, gaining an awareness of those around you seems to be a dying art. Are we all guilty of being a burden on strangers around us in some way? Absolutely. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and overstimulated at the airport. You might stop and check your phone in the middle of a terminal walkway or forget to have your passport ready at the gate. Regardless, existing within your own assigned space seems like a pretty reasonable ask, but still the concept seems to evade many.

While talking with the flight attendants, I couldn’t help but ask what their most common complaint is. Without missing a beat, they both said the same thing: children kicking the seats in front of them.