9 Things Philadelphians Always Have to Explain to Out-of-Towners

1. Scrapple is a slice of delicious breakfast meat.

We pity the out-of-towners who have never tasted the sweet, salty goodness of this greasy, fried breakfast meat. We’re not totally sure what’s in it (we’re told it’s made up of some combination of pork parts, salt, and flour), but we don’t care too much.

2. This is just how we talk

Philly folks talk like Philly folks even if we’re talking to people who aren’t from here. You may not know what we’re talking about, but youse guys are just going to have to get used to it.

3. Water ice is not Italian ice.

It’s not Italian Ice, even though it looks, tastes, and basically is Italian ice. It’s water ice, damnit. Shaved and flavored by Rita’s, or at a local neighborhood joint.

4. We eat food other than cheesesteaks and think you should too.

For the last time, cheesesteaks are not classic Philadelphia food. If you’re going to completely ignore Philly’s awesome restaurant scene, at least sample some of the other tourist-loved foods, like a roast pork sandwich from Reading Terminal Market.

5. The neighborhood you’re from matters.

It matters where you come from in Philly. And we will freak out and form instant friendships when we find out the person we just met is from the same neighborhood and knows our aunt’s cousin’s daughter.

6. Beef and beer events

They’re fundraisers where we eat lots of beef and drink lots of beer, mostly. Pretty self-explanatory.

7. The Gayborhood is a real neighborhood.

I guess it’s officially Midtown Village, but if you call it that, no one would know what you’re talking about. Also, University City is U-city and Bella Vista is the Italian Market. Don’t expect to get directions in any other format.

8. What Gritty is

We don’t need to know what Gritty is in order to love Gritty. Stop asking us, we don’t know and we don’t care.

9. Philly is not a small city.

Philadelphia is a metropolis, the fifth largest in the country, where over 1.5 million people live.