It’s not just because Brett Favre committed the treasonous act of abandoning the NFL’s greatest team to play for the Vikings. Vikings fans are arrogant, rude, and let’s be honest, the Vikings aren’t even that good at football. They think we’re their biggest rival, but we’ve got bigger fish to fry.
We pride ourselves on being humble and down-to-earth, and dislike anyone who looks down on us for it. If you’re kind and genuine, you’ll impress us much more than if you mention your Ivy League degree or designer clothing.
If you’re in a truck, it’s Chevy, Ford, or Dodge. You won’t find us driving a VW or Nissan, and we’ll crack a good-natured joke at anyone who does.
It’s not that we think there is something wrong with you if you’re vegan or gluten-free. It’s just that we don’t know how to cook for you, and this stresses us out tremendously.
Honestly, our cold winters are something we love to pretend to hate. “Is it cold enough for ya?” is our favorite winter greeting, and complaining about the snow and how much we miss summer is a much-loved winter pastime.
Mostly, we’re just offended that they’ve knocked us out of the playoffs more than a few times.
Any fish we eat had better be fresh from the lake, especially if it’s Friday fish fry. We hate to have to buy fish at the store, which is why we freeze our butts for hours ice fishing in the winter.
We don’t mind visiting Chicago, but when it comes to cities, Madison and Milwaukee are as big as we ever want to get. We’ll take quaint towns nobody else can pronounce, like Manitowoc or Oconomowoc, with a main street lined with ma-and-pa shops over the city any day.
Nothing is more disappointing to a Wisconsinite as ordering a brat in another state and getting a hot dog instead. Those are not the same things. 