10 Reasons You Should Never Take Your Kids To Munich
1. Once they have seen surfers ripping Eisbach, had a rare-bird spotting contest, and crossed over 100 tiny, picture-perfect bridges in the 4-sq-km Englishcher Garten, the neighbourhood park back home might suddenly lose its appeal.
2. Be spellbound by the story enacted by dolls at the Rathaus-Glockenspiel, depicting the wedding of Duke Wilhelm V, a horseback fight, and the cooper’s dance. But then, as soon as the golden rooster chirps the end of the show, the kids are bound to scream ‘Again!’ and you have to come back for the noon and 5 o’ clock shows as well. And yes, they might also sprain their necks by looking high up at the Glockenspiel for 15 minutes at a stretch.
3. After a day of watching animals in impeccable replicas of their natural habitat at the Hellabrunn Tierpark, the first geo-zoo in the world, and getting to pet some of them, the kids will invariably want to bring some of them back as pets. Your offer of a puppy will be vehemently rejected.
4. If your kids are fascinated by cars and all things speedy, taking them to the BMW Welt will be a mistake you probably can’t afford (literally!). The minivan back home won’t fare well in comparison to the sleek beauties they will see in abundance here. Plus, the adventure programs and fun detective games, all related to automobiles, are going to make things as bad as they can get.
5. After a few days of exhilarating toboggan runs, downhill sledding, snow-tubing, and snowball fights, they will not only not want to go back home, but stand a high risk of hating summer (*shudder*). By all means, even if you commit the mistake of taking them to Munich, keep them as far away from the super-exciting hills of Olympiaberg and Luitpoldhügel.
6. If you are in Munich, you are bound to end up at Neuschwanstein Castle, the dreamy hilltop castle a short drive from Munich. Once they have seen it and the treasures stored inside, good luck trying to make them believe that fairy tales are made up. Stay away!
7. A few hours of jaw-dropping performances and acrobats at the Circus Krone, one of the largest and most popular circuses in all of Europe, accompanied by mind-boggling sounds and lights, will ensure that you never hear the end of it, how the clowns made faces and the trapeze artist swayed and the rhino and the horse and the this and the that…Ugghhh!
8. 4D motion simulation cinema, interactive movie sets, adventure world, behind-the-scene insights, thrilling rides, yummy food — they all add up to Bavaria Filmstadt (one of the largest film production companies in Europe). But they also add up to falling sick from too much excitement, nagging insistence to keep going back there on every single holiday.
9. After a day spent getting up close and personal with sharks and shrimp, dolphin and dogfish, and over 5,000 varieties of rare, exotic, and downright weird sea creatures at the Sea Life Munchen, they will break into hysterical tears every time they see anyone eating their new friends (read: fish).
10. Kids love dinosaurs, for whatever reason. A few hours spent among the relics of dinosaurs and fossils at the Paläontologisches Museum München might make them too interested in archaeology, or palaeontology, or evolution, or all three!
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