Where to draw the line when defending cultural norms

By On April 1, 2009 · 23 Comments

Framing the issue / Photo Zara

When we respect the sovereignty of other cultures, is there a danger of compromising our own values?

I came across a wonderful article in the May/June 2008 issue of Psychology Today about the authentic self.

It discussed the North American obsession with self awareness, and whether or not there is a “true” self that determines enjoyment in life. “A hunger for authenticity guides us in every age and aspect of life,” says the author Karen Wright. “It drives our explorations of work, relationships, play, and prayer.”

I began to think about authenticity in terms of travelling, and how we can be more genuine and respectful on our journeys.

Most travelers want to “realize” something about the places they visit; they also hope to discover more about themselves. However, when we blindly dispense our “true beliefs” for the sake of adaptation, does this “respectfulness” compromise our personal integrity?

The saying goes, “When in Rome do as the Romans do.” Many of us agree with this statement.

Part of travelling is reaching into ourselves and changing our long-held ideas. In choosing a different place, we are required to leave ourselves open to experimentation with new social rules.

Gender Discrimination

While I believe we should respect the local etiquette when abroad, there are times when this issue becomes more complex than just “adapting” our minds and behavior.

In abiding by the new program, many travelers often feel confused and distressed. They wonder if they are doing the “right thing” by adhering to certain practices which may go against their core values.

Has accepting “social norms” compromised my belief in women’s equality, a goal that people around the world are fighting for?

For example, in cultures where I have been encouraged to cover up every hint of flesh or risk being seen by some as “culturally insensitive,” or worse, harassed or raped, I have often wondered: has accepting “social norms” compromised my belief in women’s equality, a goal that people around the world are fighting for?

The reaction I often hear from others is, “Well, it’s part of their culture to do (this, that, or the other oppressive thing).”

In analyzing this reaction, I have felt that some rules are less reflective of any “authentic” culture than they are of patriarchal dominance. This is not something that I feel comfortable indulging in psychologically, for the sake of not offending people in power.

In India, a site called Blank Noise dedicates itself to the topic of sexual harassment.

The owners believe that gender discrimination is wrong, regardless of what a woman might (or might not) be wearing. This may come to a surprise to many North Americans, who view India as being “more oppressive” than Western cultures, as if it is written in the Indian Constitution that women must be held down.

What Are We Defending

Photo arimoore

This begs the question: When we defend a practice as “culture”, do we even know what we are talking about, or is this a concept that our minds have invented?

When we respect a country’s values as being “authentic”, without any analysis as to who or what is defining them, we must ask ourselves who we are defending.

North America is particularly “inauthentic.” Politicians and even many citizens call it “free” when in fact it is like any other region, never completely emancipated; historically, we also have committed many wrongs in the area of human rights, and continue to do so.

Though I am philosophically part of Canada, I am also part of its diversity. If a traveler to my country pointed out that Native people were being treated badly, for example, I would agree with them.

I would never expect them to “respectfully” agree with the dominant Canadian perspective that oppression is over, for our culture is as well-acquainted with inequity as it is with revolution.

Pick Your Battles

I have met some travelers that have tried to adjust, in every way imaginable, to a new country.

They say they agree with every new rule, but don’t realize that in doing so, they are reproducing inequity. They are culture shocked, afraid of “disrespecting” people, or just unaware. They haven’t taken the time to ask themselves the question, “According to what I know, is this new concept in the spirit of justice?”

I am not suggesting that we go out and fight other countries’ battles for them. We are not “the liberated West”, destined to save anyone, as our own people rot in various levels of despair.

However, we should stand by the positive changes that justice-oriented people abroad are trying to make by not passively accepting other’s inequities under the mask of “respect” or “culture”.

The human psyche is fluid and liable to transformation. With traveling comes a huge responsibility to decide what changes for ourselves might mean to others as well; we need not buy plane tickets for the purpose of buttering national egos.

In search of knowledge, the “authentic” and respectful traveler looks from within, before deciding which way to go.

What are your thoughts about defending cultural norms abroad? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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About The Author

Emily Hansen

Emily Hansen is a travel writer and teacher based in Shimla, India, where she is working on a book about her experiences as an expat. Her native land is Canada, and she has traveled to over 30 countries, and has lived in six, including Germany, China, Korea, Thailand, Taiwan, and now, India.

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  • DHarbecke

    Very interesting. What you seem to suggest is that authenticity comes from honest dialogue, and that it can’t happen if someone insists on One Way.

    If I’m a guest in someone’s country, I do my best to respect my host – but not at the expense of my own dignity. (Fortunately, that becomes more negotiable as time goes on, but I think that sharpens the line over time of what is or isn’t acceptable.) I’ve done some pretty wacky things, but usually in the company of the other “Romans.” If singled out – well, it’s time to make a choice what you’re willing to fight for. At the same time, I hope to be as sensitive to catch what others people consider meaningful to avoid the battles and predict the pitfalls.

    Dialogue is really the best word for this I can come up with, but only in that we trade not so much words but best attempts to understand meaning. And the further from home you go, the harder that is to do.

  • http://www.matadorabroad.com Tim Patterson

    Wow, I just wrote and published an article at Abroad titled “Put Some Damn Clothes On!” – a rant about culturally inappropriate dress in SE Asia. Your thoughtful article is a good complement to mine. I think it’s important to respect cultural norms, and it pisses me off to see female backpackers walking around SE Asia in skimpy clothing. That said, I take your point about not wanting to compromise your own values or endorse a patriarchy. There’s a happy balance somewhere – probably it involves a shawl.

    Here’s my article, hot of the press;

    http://matadorabroad.com/put-some-damn-clothes-on/

  • Erin A

    Great article! I think it’s important for travellers to find that balance as Tim says by exposing others along the way of their lifestyle but also practicing respect.

  • Eva

    There’s a pretty thoughtful discussion on this topic going on over at the Notebook, too!

    http://thetravelersnotebook.com/how-to/how-to-avoid-being-an-ugly-american-tourist/

    It’s tough to find the line between respecting your status as a visitor and engaging in constructive dialogue…

  • http://www.huevosalamexicana.com Sarah

    What a great article, Emily! And yes, I agree with Eva and Tim that it comes at the perfect time, on the heels of other similar discussions.

    Thank you very much for bringing a feminist dialogue to Matador. I could not agree more that many things which are justified as being “part of culture” or “authentic” are actually part of a history of patriarchal domination which may be just as authentic as other culinary, social, or societal traditions but, in my opinion, should not be justified or defended.

    I think there’s a big tendency, especially when one wants so hard to get inside of and even become part of a place, to fall into cultural relativism. I saw this so much in China, particularly–authoritarianism is part of China’s history, so we as Westerners can’t question it. I had a friend who despised her country (Australia) and other Western countries, particularly the U.S., and criticized them constantly for human rights violations. I agreed with her on almost all points. But at the same time, she refused to admit that China also has some egregious human rights violations–no, she argued, China is different, and their authoritarianism and censorship is part of culture. I simply couldn’t agree with that. There are some values–and I believe people’s right to not be jailed for protesting or writing a blog about failing government policies are some of these–that should be universal. Hence, the universal declaration of human rights.

    As for your point about women and dress, you beat me to the punch! I was just about to leave a comment on Tim’s post about this. I often hear people say here in Mexico, “well, if you don’t want to get whistled at/harassed, dress like a boy.” I don’t want to dress in a damn button down shirt and hat and baggy pants every day and I shouldn’t have to. My female Mexican friends here agree, but they get the same speech. Where does it come from? Well, 4 out of 5 men in Mexico think if a woman gets raped it’s her fault, and the Cardinal of Guadalajara recently announced that if women would stop wearing miniskirts, they wouldn’t tempt men into harassing them. I don’t think travelers are helping this at all by trying to keep their eyes down and dress like men in order to avoid “inviting rape.”

    Again, really eloquent and balanced post. Thank you.

  • http://Travel-Writers-Exchange.com Rebecca

    This is a very interesting article. The following lines caught my eye: “I am not suggesting that we go out and fight other countries’ battles for them. We are not “the liberated West”, destined to save anyone, as our own people rot in various levels of despair.” I sometimes feel that America believes that the country has to fight peoples battles for them, which includes fighting for women’s rights in other countries. What purpose does “fighting” serve? It creates more anger and hostility.

    I have yet to travel to places where women are required to cover up. I would be respectful of the culture and cover up my skin. At the same time, I would be thankful that I can wear what I would like while I am in America. However, some Americans believe that if a woman dresses in a skimpy outfit, she’s asking for it. Do you recall the movie The Accused with Jodie Foster?

    I think we can be respectful of other cultures and at the same time hope and pray that they will have equal rights for everyone. This is what I hope for in America.

  • RS

    Does anyone consider that a Chinese person’s worldview (in the Heideggerean way) might be completely different from a Western person’s?

  • Emily

    Thanks for all you thoughtful comments everyone! BALANCE is definitely the key, and this topic is one that I sway on quite frequently, despite having written such an opinionated piece! It’s really hard to decide my views on this subject as the issues of what is “appropriate” (and what is not) come up time and time again in my travels and also at home. I guess I just question the automatic assumption that some very oppressive things can sometimes be justified in the name of “culture”…it’s a highly complicated issue. The diversity of peoples’ opinions on this subject are what really inspired me to write the article, and my own flakiness as well, as I flip back and forth on certain contested issues to do with the (female) body and covering up specifically.

  • Emily

    And Sarah, to add to that, thanks for your support on the feminist issue. The f-word tends to elicit some very hostile responses in these days of backlash (just see my old article about sex tourism in Thailand and you’ll be well-enlightened on some of the frothier anti-woman diatribe that exists out there), and I am for equality for everyone on the planet, including women. Men and women have such different experiences and oppressions in the world, and these issues tend to come full-force when travelling. I would really appreciate more articles from women (and men) that take a strong stand on such topics as rape and other abuses. Certainly BNT supports articles that include this perspective.

  • http://www.clickclackgorilla.com click

    Way to get a really important topic into the light. Oppression as a cultural asepct to be respected is bullshit. Opression is oppression is oppression. Thanks for writing this.

  • http://www.insearchofsanuk.com Dwight/ดนัย

    Good article. This is still a very interesting topic as more people are having opportunities to travel than ever possible before. Travel helps us define what we stand for and what we believe by forcing us to question ourselves and our surroundings. We should harvest that and really spend some time taking in our surroundings before we act. This means stepping away from the things that upset or “shock” us and ask questions, analyzing the circumstances. Instead of shouting or yelling: Blog it. Tweet it. Make some noise about it. If you’re upset about something, chances are you’re not the only one whoever felt that way. Get connected and make calculated, long term change happen.

  • http://matadornights.com/ Kate

    I agree on so many points, but I’m still torn when it comes to the idea of blending in by dressing in a way deemed culturally appropriate.

    No, of course I don’t think that women are asking to be raped or touched when they dress a certain way.

    I do think that there are standards imposed by a culture and it is up to you to take note of them and conform or not to as you see fit.

    I’ve been in neighborhoods in the US where making eye contact with any male signified that you were a whore and being a woman walking alone implied the same thing – regardless of how you were dressed. There are places in the world where showing “too much” skin means something to the people looking at you that it may not mean to you.

    It’s important to be cognizant of this – and if you choose to conform, I don’t think it necessarily means that you condone the abuse or rape of women who do not.

    Personally, I have some conspicuous tattoos and the question is always whether they ought to remain covered or not – what they may mean to those that see them – what it implies about me to them.

    It’s wonderful that in most places in the US a woman can wear what she likes without much fear of repercussion – but in societies in which women don’t share that luxury – what people infer about you based on your style of dress is something you may not agree with, the fact remains that they are still inferring it about you. Is it more comfortable/enlightened to conform?

    Would one be able to effect more change with their words and attitude by looking like someone that locals are more likely to take seriously out of the gate?

    Will you ever get a feel for the rhythm of a culture by being the center of attention everywhere you go?

    I dressed like a man in public once – with a beard and everything. It was incredible the freedom I experienced by not being taken notice of at all. The beard itched like a motherfucker, but it was enlightening. I think men are afforded much more privacy in their day to day lives.

  • Cuautepec

    I think when we go abroad we often think we understand a culture and we don’t. That is probably as good a reason as any for doing as the Romans do as long as it does not seriously conflict with our principles.

    I also live in Mexico, Sarah and I don’t see that women have to cover up in any extraordinary or uncomfortable way. And it is extremely unusual to see a Mexican woman who in any way resembles a man.

    But where is the feminism in undress? I do not understand that issue. My mother in sixties Ireland was only paid a third of what her male counterparts were paid, could not enter into a contract, lost her surname when she married, etc. etc. That was oppression, but as long as I am not forced to wear uncomfortable and unsuitable clothes I do not see why it is a problem to cover up a bit more, if needs be. And if liberation is wearing less clothes, strippers must be feminist icons.

  • Kimberly

    As a woman who is considering traveling to the middle east, this article was definitely of interest to me. I don’t think I would ever defend cultural norms to the point where it was hurting or degrading someone… I highly disagree, for example, with the concept of honour killings in the Middle East. They are about as part of Arab culture as school shootings are part of American culture. But I also know that when I go, I will dress modestly, out of respect for the Islamic religion and not to endorse any patriarchal oppression.

  • Eva

    “And if liberation is wearing less clothes, strippers must be feminist icons.”

    Sigh. It’s not about *wearing less clothes* — it’s about *having the choice to wear less clothing* without repercussions.

  • Emily

    Ahhhh, thank you once again, Eva:)

  • DHarbecke

    That word mentioned above, “appropriate,” is interesting. It’s halfway between law and personal values, but still a recognition of the needs of a governing culture.

    It was less than a hundred years ago when men wore those ridiculous one-piece bathing suits, but we’ve “progressed” since then, no? But imagine if you had a culture where everyone wore the assless chaps that Prince wore (wears?) – you’d kinda flip out if they demanded everyone “progress” in the same direction.

    I understand when a church asks people to cover up, and even when the church extends out into the streets in less secular cultures. There isn’t a “right” or a “wrong” here, but a difference of values. And that’s the problem: we’re talking reverence versus expression here, and the values don’t match up.

    In the West we lose our minds when we hear about honor killings and womens’ oppression, but you can’t expect to have the same level of concern 100 years ago as we do now. The same goes for racial discrimination 50 years ago. Or gay rights – aren’t we proud gays have the same rights as heterosexuals? Ahem.

    My point is the line shifts, and it’s arrogant to conclude we’re the only ones who are right all the time. There will be a time when we’re looked upon as backward because we passed any law we wanted against terrorists and pedophiles, or supported the death penalty, or everyone had guns in the house.

    click said something about oppression being wrong, but it’s something we have to submit to every day so there isn’t anarchy. I can’t punch it to 100 MPH anytime I want – there’s got to be a standard, or there’s no order. If everyone’s so “equal,” why do we still have separate bathrooms?

    We aren’t so damn superior, and we should stop acting like it. There are things we do that are considered barbaric by other cultures, but we’re largely deaf to those claims – but what do we lose by listening to them? That’s what I mean by dialogue. The line shifts because the values behind the words take time to be shared, and we just have to get used to the awkwardness of it.

    • http://tom.ride-earth.org.uk Tom Allen

      Just to pick up on one thing you said – we have different bathrooms for the same reason we cover our naughty bits in public. Would modern society function if we were continually exposed to each other’s exhibitions of fertility? I don’t know, but I suspect that covering our nakedness had a lot to do with getting our minds off sex and onto other things (building civilizations). That’s nothing to do with equality.

      There’s a line to be drawn somewhere, as you say. Speedos at one end, tents (chadors) at the other?

  • DHarbecke

    I’m oppressed because I can’t say “fuck” anytime I want to. I’m so tired of those looks the pastor gives me…

  • http://www.greenygrey.co.uk GG

    I think that sexist persecution of women is no more defendable than any other, including racial.

    Sexist cultures are no more acceptable than apartheid was in South Africa when it was the dominant cultue, yet there aren’t the same calls for boycotts etc.

    As the articles suggests, travelers have to make a choice whether to visit cultures they don’t agree with, and although there is usually something you don’t like about every culture, some stand out as unsavoury.

  • DHarbecke

    The issue of how we deal with the intolerable is discussed in Kwame Anthony Appiah’s book “Cosmopolitanism.” Brilliant read.

  • http://tom.ride-earth.org.uk Tom Allen

    This is a question I’ve been forced to ask myself in recent months.

    I’m coming to the end of a six month bicycle journey which has included nine Middle Eastern countries, 7 of which are Arabian states. Here, the issue of gender equality is not spoken of – but then I can count the number of conversations I had with Arabian women on the fingers of my two hands. I can tell you any number of common men’s names in Arabia, but not a single women’s name.

    You are right that many travellers from the West arrive at their destinations with the idea that whatever cultural differences they experience must be accepted, regardless of whether or not these differences agree with what they brought from home, simply because ‘it’s a cultural difference’, and the inquiry generally ends there. I don’t know how this line of thinking came to exist – historical travellers of yore pulled no punches when they described the ways of the ‘barbarians’ they encountered!

    It is clear that while many women in Arabia never question their ‘traditional’ social role as the covered, unseen housekeeper (with the exclusion of liberal minorities in urban areas), there are many who are deeply unhappy with it – but are powerless to change it. This came from the horse’s mouth on more than one occasion.

    The progress of social justice continues all over the world. Western nations now almost universally accept the equal participation of men and women in all aspects of society (besides front-line combat). Go back less than a century and it’s a very different picture, and we now consider our previous ways to have been wrong. So can we make the same judgement on cultures who haven’t overcome this hurdle? The issue is complex and I don’t have the answer there.

    But even if we disagree, there’s no point lambasting other cultures, and there’s nothing to be gained from arguing your case while you’re a guest in somebody’s home. Change takes time and sufficient inertia, and the West is far from perfect. I’m embarrased by my own country’s (England’s) inability to deal with alcohol abuse. Not until I could compare my own nation to others did I understand how deeply this runs. Yet Lonely Planet bring out a new edition of their Great Britain guidebook which says as much, and people run to defend binge drinking on the grounds of ‘cultural differences’!

  • http://www.rebel-workinprogress.blogspot.com Rebel

    This is an issue I’ve been dealing with here. I’ve been exposed to so many things and ideas that I’d never imagined, and it really has opened my mind. I find myself being speechless & contemplative a lot of times when in the past I would have had a ready opinion and judgement to pronounce. But there are still some core values that I’m not willing to give up, racial & gender equality for two.

    During the US Presidential elections my students asked me which candidate I liked, I turned it around on them and asked for their opinion. One came right out and said “I don’t like Obama, he has black skin.” Yeah, I could have ‘respected the culture’ and accepted that here light skin is valued. But no… that’s where my line is and I challenged him on it.

    No, I’m not trying to ‘liberate’ anyone, but I am trying to find that balance – when do I go with the cultural flow and when do I stand up and show people that there’s a different way to see things?