11 Signs Your Boyfriend Is English
1. You can chat for several minutes and realize you don’t have a clue what’s he talking about.
“We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.” — Oscar Wilde
Bob’s your uncle. I have an Uncle Bob. A lot of people do. A total cock up. Sounds like a porno. The dog’s bollocks. Dog balls are a good thing? Don’t tell that to mine. He’s chopped.
Then there are the words that sound like you’re conversing with a toddler, but they’re actually coming out of the mouth of your grown-arse boyfriend: wellies, yonks, totty, ta, tickety-boo, squiffy, squidgy, rumpy-pumpy, scrummy, scrumping, diddle, dickey, bugger, bung.
Aside from his penchant for childlike vernacular, your boyfriend also possesses an impressive vocabulary of words that actually do exist. (Although, most Americans will not be aware of their existence or proper pronunciation.) While the Brit will opt for the most erudite word possible, the American will go look up ‘erudite’ in the dictionary. Your boyfriend does this because…