1. You consider the wine aisle at the supermarket daunting.
There are so many bottles to choose from! The aisle must be at least a mile long. First there are the reds, which blend ever so delicately into the rosés and finally bleach out into the whites. There are sweet wines, dry wines, and bubbly wines. Some are bottled in the vineyard itself, others aren’t. There are even South American wines now…as if it weren’t hard enough already.
At dinner parties you pretend to know what people mean when they say a Beaujolais tastes of bananas, but the truth is your only criterion to distinguish a good wine from a bad one is the price. You’ve narrowed it down now: Anything over 4 euros a bottle and you won’t be bringing vinegar to tonight’s get together.