So you want an iPhone that doubles as collateral for your house.

Well, here it is. Presenting the world’s most expensive iPhone case, the Trim Couture, a diamond-studded version of the model shown above produced by self-described altruistic German luxury brand Brikk. It weighs in at six carats of diamonds (of the black or white variety), it’s “milled” from a single slab of titanium, and comes with the assurance that you’re simultaneously donating 25 metric tonnes (1 tone=2,204.63 lb) of rice to some people they know who don’t have anything to eat.

It will cost $100,000, and obviously, there’s no warranty.

Window shopping through the website, it’s hard not to fall into the stock character of Guy Who Always Finds Something Wrong With Your Charity. Exhibit A, their mission statement:

Brikk is an originator of fine anthropological jewelery and products for technology, lifestyle, and fashion. Its dream is simple–for all luxury brands to assist those in the world in need in a collective fashion.

Yes, they do sell jewelery. Speficially, the “Heptagon,” their “signature seven-sided ring,” available in solid gold or platinum with a black diamond carbon covering. Although I also have no idea what “anthropological jewelery” might look like, I doubt it would be something that looks to have been lifted from the nuts and bolts section of Home Depot.

As for their manufacturing policy:

Brikk uses rare materials and complex processes to create limited editions of each piece. The materials and processes utilized are more commonly applied to scientific, medical, and industrial applications. Rarely, if ever, have they been used for the consumer market.

No comment on this one. And now, for the ethical-conscious component that makes all this gratuitous nonsense worthwhile:

Brikk creates philanthropy through rice. For each product sold, a specific amount of rice is allocated to various NGO’s that distribute the rice to populations around the world in need.

I’m not going to get into why it’s not a great idea to just go throwing rice at starving people. I’m just saying this: what are you getting out of it, Brikk? Well, considering that right now 1 metric tonne of rice is going for a little over $600, I’d say about $84,000.

If you’re still interested, the Trim Couture will go on sale early 2012. But I’d recommend buying something else–like any one of these houses.

Note: this article, when originally published, stated that the Trim Couture would only come with 1 tonne of rice. Having been informed that the single tonne is what comes with the entry-level model, I’ve made the accurate revision that the $100K Couture model comes with 25 tonnes.