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10 Signs You're Single in Portland

by Michelle DeVona Aug 18, 2016

1. You run into someone at a yoga class whom you totally ghosted a month ago.

Seems you’ve forgotten about that second date conversation when you learned that both of you sometimes attend acro yoga with Amy on Tuesday evenings. Time to make like Edward Norton in Fight Club and find another session to attend.

2. You have written an anonymous letter to Portland Mercury’s “Savage Love” column for dating advice at least once.

Come on, just admit it already.

3. You find out that you and your friend went on an OkCupid date with the same person.

When it comes down to it, Portland is actually rather small.

4. While browsing any dating site here, half the profile photos you see are of someone climbing, skiing, or doing something else in the great outdoors.

Which means that if you don’t live an active lifestyle, people assume you’re lazy and your chances of finding a match decrease significantly. And then there are the folks who post all these awesome adventure photos, only for you to later find out they’ve been hiking twice in their life.

5. You’ve probably been to Ground Kontrol on a first date at some point or other.

Everyone knows an arcade is one of the best spots for the initial date. That is, by chance you realize the person who seemed so intriguing turns out to be a total bore. Or rather, it’s just another excuse to spend thirty minutes hogging the Doctor Who pinball machine.

6. You go to a professional cuddler on a regular basis.

During your dry spells, it’s nice to still have the option to snuggle with someone, even if it’s completely platonic. Let’s just forget that you are paying the person $1 for every minute of spooning.

7. You have way too much time for random hobbies like making lavender potpourri or fashioning bow ties out of duct tape.

Let’s face it, those dateless Friday nights certainly free up your schedule for things you otherwise couldn’t devote yourself to. Now you can finally set up an Etsy profile.

8. Your dog is your main hiking buddy.

When all your non-single friends are busy with their significant other on weekends, at least you know Fido is there. After all, your furry companion has always been your true BF for a reason.

9. Your compost bin is a lot less full than it used to be.

Perhaps you’ve recently entered the realm of singledom, which means you now cook alone most of the time.

10. You’ve become a regular at Purringtons Cat Lounge.

For those of us who are not completely comfortable with the idea of hiring a professional cuddler, there is another way to release oxytocin — snuggling with cute felines at Portland’s cat café.

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