When someone shouts letters at you from across the parking lot, your only reaction is a blank stare.
Whether you hear the proud cry of “O-H” down the potato chip aisle at Meijer, from two tables over in Bob Evans, or from across the lawn, the correct response is “I-O.”
You’ve never cut down your own Christmas tree.
With the number of Christmas tree farms in the state, if you’ve never cut down your own, or don’t even know that’s an option, we’ll assume you didn’t grow up here, freezing to your bones hiking up and down snow-covered aisles to find the perfect tree (that will still somewhat fit in your living room).
You think pancakes are superior to waffles.
Sure, Ihop may have fancy flavors and menu items like crepes and French toast, but Ohioans know the grease and grit of Waffle House is where it’s at. And it’s open 24 hours. I’ll have the same capped, covered and smothered hash browns as that trucker, please.
When you’re offered a buckeye, you stand in silence awaiting an explanation.
No, we’re not suggesting you start collecting poisonous nuts or shake hands with the Ohio State University mascot. We’re offering you the most delectable treat you’ve never heard of: a small ball of peanut butter and sugar dipped three quarters of the way in chocolate. But yes, it does resemble the poisonous nut.
Four letter words are a main component in your vocabulary.
We’re a family friendly state here in Ohio. If you can’t keep those F-bombs to a minimum, at least in public, we’ll surmise you may not be from around these parts.
You think it’s odd that you’re sharing the road with a tractor.
Only midwesterners know combines trudging up country roads is a regular occurrence, especially during planting and harvesting seasons. Don’t worry, they’ll scoot over so you can pass.
You neglect to offer a cheery greeting when passing someone on the sidewalk or hiking trail.
True Ohioans say “hello” to people, be they friend or stranger. Not offering a quick “beautiful day, isn’t it?” or “how ya doing?” is just plain rude.
You don’t think every day is a beautiful day (as long as rain isn’t falling).
As long as there’s no rain, tornado warnings or a blizzard, Ohioans think every day is a beautiful one and we’ll say so. It can be frigidly cold, but if the sun is shining it’s beautiful. It can be completely overcast, but if a down parka isn’t required it’s beautiful. It can be both cold and overcast, but if fall leaves are on display, it’s beautiful.
You think North Carolina has the monopoly on the invention of the airplane.
That may be where the first test flight took place, but Orville and Wilbur Wright lived right here in Dayton, Ohio, which is where they did their inventing. Take that, North Carolina!
You put your coat and boots in storage in March and your tank tops and flip flops away in September.
Locals know there is a very brief window each year when you don’t need any winter wear or warm weather clothing. We often don flip flops and shorts in November and require hats and long johns during freak snow storms at the end of April. You never can tell, so it never gets put away.
You say, “Ya’ll.”
That’s across the border in Kentucky, thank you very much. Just keep that southern slang to yourself.
When ordering a sugary carbonated beverage you call it “soda.”
That’s a bit too west coast. Around here it’s simply “pop.” And no, we don’t think it sounds ridiculous.
You grew up on anything other than meat and potatoes.
Our tastes may have evolved with age, but we all ate simple farm food like corn and green beans our entire childhoods. And you wonder why Nepalese, Ethiopian, or even raw restaurants are hard to find.
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