1. When you say that you live in Paris, you clearly mean one of the 20 districts.
Not anywhere beyond the ring road (le Périphérique), that separates the City of Lights from the grey zone.
2. You really don’t see the point to have a car, or even a driving license.
Subway, buses and, free bikes are all you need in Paris. And you can’t imagine why you should go elsewhere.
3. You know that an 8:30 pm invitation to a Parisian dinner party means that you are expected to show up at 9:00 pm.
4. You complain a lot about the weather.
You complain a lot about the public transportation. You complain a lot about your work. You complain a lot.
5. You wash your hair right after you get them done by the hair stylist.
Even if it cost you an arm and a leg, you can’t stand something else that your “just-out-of-bed” look.
6. You never stroll on the Champs-Elysées.
That is for tourists only.
7. If somebody says “I live on the 12”, you get he’s talking about the subway line number, not the district.
Parisians know the subway lines number by heart and like to rate them: the 13 is crowded, the 8 is always late…
8. Outdoor cafés are the place to be, whatever the weather.
Sunny terrace, windy terrace, frozen terrace, but always terrace.
9. You will apply for a public daycare spot, as soon you know you’re pregnant.
Even if you know that there is not the slightest chance to get one.
10. You know where to buy cigarettes in the capital on Sundays and all night long, when everything is closed.
11. You know perfectly well that Rue Saint-Martin is different from Boulevard Saint-Martin and also Rue du Faubourg Saint-Martin.
12. You took part, at least once, in a protest march.
Wide choice of topics: school reforms, labor law reforms, healthcare reforms, pension reforms, marriage equality reform, etc.
13. You give two cheek-kisses to greet someone, never three or four — that’s for the “provinciaux”.