1. “Do you eat Mexican food every day?”

No. Well, sometimes. Okay, usually.

2. “Have you ever seen snow?” (Often followed up by: “Do you know what seasons are?”)

So there’s this place called Tahoe…

3. If from San Francisco: “Do you know a lot of gay people?”
4. If from Los Angeles: “Do you know a lot of celebrities?”
5. “What’s it like being a hippy?”

Why don’t you come to the commune and find out for yourself?

6. “Why are all you people so obsessed with avocados?”

I won’t even dignify this with a response.

7. “Is everyone a vegetarian?”

Just my aunt…and the cute Starbucks barista…and the guy I dog sit for…

8. “Does everyone drive a Prius?”

See above.

9. “What the hell does “hella” mean?”

This question typically elicits an eye roll from residents of Southern California.

10. “Are you always tan?” Or, depressingly, “Why aren’t you tanner?”

If categorized as the latter, you are considered a social leper in California.

11. “Is traffic really that bad?”

Traffic. Parking. Drivers. Gas prices. All bad.

12. “Why is there tension between Northern and Southern Californians?”

At least we all agree that California is the best state.

***

And, finally, the thing people always ask without fail:

13. “If I came to California, could I stay with you?”