Photo: MNStudio/Shutterstock

13 Ways You Know You’ve Become Culturally Irish

Photo: MNStudio/Shutterstock
Sorcha O'Higgins
Oct 31, 2014

1. You think Bono is an “eejit.”

2. Your attitude towards the perpetual rain is to be as unprepared as possible. You scoff at dry tourists covered in rain gear while you cower in a doorway.

3. You are on a first name basis with your garbage man, post man, local shopkeeper, and bartender and give them all presents at Christmas.

4. You now use the adjective “grand” to indicate that something is merely acceptable.

5. You’ve started to refer to alcohol as “nectar,” “juice,” “the black stuff,” and “liquid gold.”

6. You operate a strict no suncream policy towards tanning, maintaining that your sunburn “will go brown tomorrow.”

7. You have a sincere reverence for the humble potato and believe that it should constitute its own food group.

8. You have friends named Grainne, Siobhan, Iarflaith, and Maedhbh and you can finally spell and pronounce their names correctly.

9. You fully understand what is meant by “Catholic guilt.”

10. The property section of the newspaper is your porn.

11. You are immediately distrustful of someone once you learn they don’t drink.

12. You apologize even when you are the victim of a wrongdoing. Someone bumps into you hard and you immediately say “sorry.”

13. You arrive to parties with a personal supply of booze to be guarded with your life and shared with no one.

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