1. “Are you Mormon?”
People will automatically assume you are Mormon, even though 40% of Utahns are not. People will also forget that asking people about their religion isn’t a polite question to follow third behind “What is your name?” and “Where are you from?” when you first meet.
2. “But Mormons aren’t supposed to eat chocolate, it has caffeine!”
If you are Mormon, people will assume you are a certain kind of Mormon. They’ll tell you what you believe. But to keep the record straight, I’ve never met a Mormon who didn’t eat chocolate.
3. “Utah… That is by California, right?”
We aren’t a flyover state. Next time, try visiting our five national parks (Zion, Bryce Canyon, Capitol Reef, Arches, and Canyonlands) or our forty+ state parks on your next layover. We can hold our own.
4. “Don’t people in Utah put carrots in their Jell-O?”
Jell-O is a thing. Sometimes mandarin oranges and marshmallows and whipped cream are involved, but it doesn’t mean everyone is enjoying green Jell-O as a daily side dish.
5. “How many moms did you have growing up?”
Poll a hundred Utahns. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone who has ever even met a polygamist. Yet, this fun fact from the 1800s persists as the most current event most out-of-staters can recall.
6. “You ski, right?”
Some of us snowboard, thank you very much. And some of us also don’t have hundreds of dollars to dump at the resorts on a season pass.
7. “Do you hate gay people?”
Most people in Utah tend to be kinder and more open-minded than outsiders credit. The Advocate named Salt Lake City as one of the “Queerest Cities in America” in 2016. Salt Lake City also elected its first openly gay mayor last November.
8. “Wait, I thought you Utahns were nice.”
We are, most of the time. See point one and two if you feel we got off on the wrong foot.
9. “How can you possibly support Donald Trump?”
Even if Utah remains one of the most conservative states in the U.S., Utah is not Trump’s fan club. He didn’t win the Primary, and many conservative Utahns can’t stand him. Some people speculate that this may be the first year Utah swings blue since 1964.
10. “Do you have a Bump-It?”
Not all of us walk around with infomercial hair accessories and triangle-shaped hairdos.
11. “It must be nice to get so much fresh air.”
I agree. It would be nice to get some fresh air. But have you ever heard of an inversion?
12. “How many kids do you have?”
Utah has the highest birth rates in the country. However, that doesn’t mean everyone is popping out thirteen kids by the time they are thirty.
13. “Don’t you have a year’s worth of food stored up for the end of the world?”
Okay. I admit it. I have some canned beans and powdered milk stashed under my bed. But where are you going to run to when the zombies come?