1. Brunch is not a religion for you. Nor is it a necessity after last night’s shenanigans at Eastburn.
Over an hour wait for bacon and eggs?! To you, this may seem ridiculous. And it actually is. But Portlanders drink a lot. A lot. So most of the people you see brunching on Sunday afternoon are probably either hungover or still drunk.
2. Strip clubs make you uncomfortable.
Clearly you’re in the wrong city, as it’s a challenge not to turn a corner without being a stone’s throw away from a strip club. If you haven’t tossed some dollars for the dancers yet you haven’t really been to Portland.