1. “Dude, I have no idea, but these buds are hella sticky.”
2. You wouldn’t, but you could successfully navigate a four lane highway during rush hour blindfolded while texting, updating a playlist, posting on Instagram, and eating a torta.
3. “Yes” means “maybe”, “sure” can mean “no”, and all scheduled appointments are tentative.
4. Big Sur is your baseline for scenic coastlines; Yosemite is your benchmark for beautiful mountains.
5. An absurd pride in your beat up Vans, trucker cap, and extensive t-shirt collection.
6. You roll your eyes at people when they get excited about dolphins.
7. You secretly think your musical taste is superior to others. You are an expert at not revealing your condescension.
8. Wearing socks and underwear are optional.
9. You can pull off the term “gnarly” in a genuine statement.
10. You’ve been to more countries abroad than states in the US.
11. You act nonchalant in conversations about bears, sharks, whales, earthquakes, and wildfires.
12. You get along with everyone, especially Kiwis, Canadians, and the Dutch.
13. You can’t understand why people get all excited about Levis.
14. You’ve paid $40 for weird enchiladas in Wellington, and $10 for a Pacifico in Sydney.
15. Camping is your jam.
16. You’re an expert on craft brew, but you try and take it easy on the gluten.
17. You’re Siddhartha on foot, and Mike Tyson behind the wheel.
18. “Of course, I packed a swimsuit, ya’ dick!”
19. You get physically ill because you feel obligated to proliferate cliches about burger chains and avocados in a listicle on California.