1. Your battered Pliny The Elder T-shirt is a badge of honor, yet you rarely drink IPAs anymore; your children may have a similar garment that reads: “Tiny Pliny”.
2. Your maintenance brew is more likely to read Modelo, Tecate, or Pacifico, than Bud, Miller, or Coors.
3. You’ve been to Sayulita, but your next Mexico excursion is more likely to feature mescal tasting in Oaxaca.
4. Binge drinking and “getting weird” are synonymous.
5. You’ve singed your pasty epidermis after one too many daiquiris at the Coppola Pool. Meanwhile, fog plagues your neighborhood in San Francisco.
6. As a teenager, you listened to Primus. As an adult, you sip Purple Pachyderm.
7. Your buzz-train has come off the rails after ONE margarita at the Latin American Club.
8. You celebrated with a Trailer Park Punch when Doc’s Clock was saved by the Legacy Business Registry.
9. You quietly lament the demise of The Lucky Penny.
10. You’ve staved off blindness by raiding the popcorn machine at the Mucky Duck.
11. You’ve hooked up with someone you met in an Uberpool.
12. You know WAY too much about brewing, distillation, and viticulture. You would never draw attention to this at Pittsburgh’s, but you just had a good rant with the bartender up the street at Outerlands.
13. You’ve sworn off Fernet Branca in all its manifestations; you have a mortifying tale of debauchery to fortify your resolve.
14. Your Stanley Adventure Flask has proven a loyal companion at Hardly Strictly, Breckenridge, Camp 4, First Friday Oakland, AT&T Park, The Great American Music Hall, and Ocean Beach bonfires.
15. You had a phase where you were really passionate about Bingotopia at The Knockout.
16. You may have sipped expensive Sonoma Coast pinot noir from a titanium backpacking pot at the Willow Creek Environmental Campground after bouldering at Goat Rock.
17. You’ve been thumped back to shore attempting to paddle out for a surf at Ocean Beach during a meaty groundswell the morning after Motown on Monday’s at Madrone.
18. The bottle cages on your bicycle have secured more tall boys than water; your backpack may even be custom insulated to be utilized as a cooler.
19. You rekindled your passion for vinyl at the Royal Cuckoo and burned a paycheck at Aquarius Records.
20. You’ve had a Sazerac soaked debate about “your friend” who makes the best cocktails in “The City”!
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