You’re bound to hit up Old Town at some point today where the “Keep Portland Weird” mural is, so let’s just get this out of the way. Take your darn photo.
After hashtagging your latest tourist trap, fuel up. Voodoo Doughnut is right across the street. If you don’t mind standing in a long ass line for your Bacon Maple Ale and Chocolate doughnut with the rest of the tools, then by all means. For an insider tip, Blue Star Donuts has several locations throughout Portland, and is just as good (or dare I say, better) without the ridiculous wait. Ponder the correct spelling for doughnut while in line. Or just skip it altogether and head to Mother’s Bistro and Bar for a real breakfast. Then putz around Old Town for a bit, taking in Portland’s once shoddy stomping ground for brothel-going, drunken sailors. The strip club culture still runs deep, if that’s your scene. Mary’s Club, located on the corner Southwest Broadway and the somewhat shady alley on Ankeny Street is the longest running strip club in Portland. For a legit history lesson on Portland’s corrupt underbelly involving brothels, gambling halls, saloons, and kidnappings, consider taking a guided Underground Tour through Old Town-Chinatown’s Shanghai Tunnels, where you spend an hour and a half winding through creepy dank passages that are supposedly haunted by boozy ghosts.