25 Ways You Know You’ve Become Culturally Canadian
1. You can spell Saskatchewan without any help (Sam And Sue Kiss At The Church Hall Every Wednesday After Noon).
2. Your cell phone plan is costing you an arm and a leg.
3. You’ve learnt to embrace fall. You don’t even notice the rain and the grey skies any longer, all you can see is the golden and copper maple-covered hills. Even raking the never-ending layers of leaves has become a pleasure!
4. You get your cheese and booze south of the border.
5. You wear your toque indoors. After hours of wearing it outside, you hair looks like a bird’s nest, so might as well keep it on.
6. You say “eh?” instead of “right?” but you never say “aboot” because that’s a myth.
7. You’ve developed an unhealthy affection for Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys.
8. You got used to the bears hanging around your neighbourhood.
9. You dream of taking the train across the country but each time you look at the rates on the VIA Rail website, you realize you’ll have to think again.
10. You know the difference between Canadian football and American football, but you still hate to stay seated for hours watching a game.
11. You used to be in love with Jian Ghomeshi. You listened to his show every day and always gave a little shiver when he’d say, “Happy Thursday”. Now, he grosses you out.
12. You’ve invested in a bunch of plaid, flannel shirts. Not only are they warm and indestructible, but they give you that great Canadian look that’s all the rage.
13. You know what a “Persian” is. You also know how unhealthy it is, but by God, is it ever good!
14. Your footwear is covered with anti-slip ice cleats 6 months out of the year.
15. You can’t help but point out the Canadians in every American movie you watch.
16. You can’t stand Nickelback.
17. You know that Netflix US is the way to go.
18. Your winter daily workout consists of a feet of snow, a shovel, and a broom.
19. Shelagh Rogers is your cultural adviser.
20. Those new plastic bills drive you crazy — they can’t be folded and they stick together.
21. When it comes to winter weather, you know that the poor people of Saskatoon have it worse than you.
22. You never shop at Roots. It’s an overpriced tourist trap.
23. The cold water of the glacier-fed lakes doesn’t bother you any longer, especially when the thermometer hits 35°C in August.
24. You’ve read most of Alice Munro’s books…but only since she received the Nobel Prize in literature.
25. Your heart pinches and your eyes get wet when you hear the national anthem…In English and in French!