31 Things You'll Never Hear a New Yorker Say

New York City Culture
by Henry Miller Aug 10, 2015

1. “I feel culturally threatened by Boston.”

2. “Wait, did I just *actually* see a rat on the subway platform?!”

3. “The best place to hang out on the weekends? Times Square!”

4. “Roof access isn’t worth the extra $200 a month.”

5. “New York is cool and all, but I really wish I could spend more time in northern New Jersey.”

6. “Bruce Springstein is way better than Billy Joel.”

7. “You know where you can get great pizza? Dominos.”

8. “The MTA is just too damn expensive, so I am going to buy a car.”

9. “I’ve lived in the city for 8 years and still haven’t found these mythical ‘bodegas’ people keep talking about.”

10. “I’m probably not going to need an AC unit this summer.”

11. “I am so proud and grateful for everything that the financial industry has done for our city.”

12. “Spending a hot afternoon at The Cloisters was such a waste of time.”

13. “The water off Coney Island is just too dirty for me to even consider swimming in.”

14. “Staten Island? Best. Borough. Ever!”

15. “We rented this really cheap, down-to-earth, beach cabin in the Hamptons for the summer.”

16. “Don’t worry, I’m sure Time Warner will have our service up in no time.”

17. “Laguardia, thank God! I was worried I was going to have to go through JFK”

18. “No, please, after you!”

19. “It’s after 9:30- let’s check out the bars in the Financial District!”

20. “My favorite part about New York is that it get’s more cultural and affordable every day.”

21. “Why *wouldn’t* you spend the majority of your time at the Statue of Liberty? It’s right there!”

22. “I haven’t seen a public shouter, catcaller, masturbator or defecator in hours!”

23. “The subways don’t really need AC, these century old ceiling fans are perfectly adequate at keeping things cool.”

24. “I can’t find anywhere that delivers, so my only option is to cook for myself every night.”

25. “I was running late so I decided to take the bus.”

26. “I hear the next hip bohemian scene is going to be in the Upper East Side.”

27. “I’d spend more time in Central Park this summer, but my Netflix subscription needs me.”

28. “You know what would really help New York become more affordable? More Russian billionaires.”

29. “Ahem…it’s called the Freedom Tower.”

30. “Queens, Brooklyn, Long Island? It’s all the same thing to me.”

31. “I had a 7-minute transfer, but thankfully it was at Penn Station… so there was no way I could get lost.”

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