7. “My favorite part about driving in Southeast? Ladd’s Addition.”
8. “You’re the first person I’ve met who smokes weed here.”
9. “I don’t care if the animal was tortured, let me eat it!”
10. “My umbrella is my best friend, I take it with me everywhere.”
11. “I don’t like beer.”
12. “The damn hippies are ruining everything.”
13. “Can I get bacon and Kraft American cheese instead of the Kale and Chevre?”
14. “I got rid of my bike when I bought this gas-guzzlin’ Ford F150.”
15. “Let’s move to California!”
16. “I’m not going outside today, it’s too sunny.”
17. “I prefer shopping at Walmart instead of Fred Meyer.”
18. “Buy an SUV, it’s too hard to get anywhere on Trimet.”
19. “Portlandia? I love that show!”
20. “Screw going to Mt. Hood, I can just Google pictures of it from my couch.”
21. “Our trip to Multnomah Falls was such a waste of time.”
22. “Nobody cares about your gluten intolerance.”
23. “Oh, you’re an artist? Why don’t you get a real job?”
24. “We don’t serve vegans here.”
25. “I hate it here. It’s just *too* damn weird.”
26. “No one goes to strip clubs in Portland.”
27. “Downtown PDX is the place to be after 1 AM.”
28. “And then it just started raining… I know! I was totally shocked.”
29. “Who cares about those big old trees anyway?”
30. “The salmon in Alaska was better…”
31. “Frankly, I don’t really care about the Timbers, the Blazers, the Beavers, or the Ducks.”
32. “Don’t those kids know that playing with fire is dangerous?!”
33. “Nope, I’ve never even heard of Burning Man.”
34. “I can’t believe you’re wearing flannel. Again.”
35. “Welcome to Portland. Please tell everyone you know how great it is to live here, we’d love for them to join us.” 