37 Things You’ll Never Hear Someone From New York City Say
1. I can’t find a bodega that sells good coffee.
2. I can’t find a bodega.
3. Swimming in the Gowanus Canal is totally safe. I do it once a week.
4. I wish there were more Duane Reades around.
5. The waste processing plant in Greenpoint? Didn’t even notice it was there.
6. I’d never travel all the way up to Harlem from downtown just to go to Dinosaur Bar-b-que.
7. I love taking the G train. It’s so reliable.
8. Yes! Let’s absolutely go to Times Square and hang out.
9. Williamsburg is so much better now that all the small mom-and-pop stores are being forced out.
10. Gentrification? Nah, I don’t have an opinion about that.
11. Other cities make good pizza too.
12. There aren’t any service changes on the trains this weekend.
13. I found a parking spot in Park Slope in two minutes. And it was right outside the place I was going.
14. I like that cars are still able to drive through Prospect Park.
15. I hardly ever see anyone using a Citibike.
16. It’s so quiet and peaceful walking across the Brooklyn Bridge.
17. I wish, just once, it was Showtime on the Q train.
18. I think another high-rise multi-million dollar building is a great addition to the city.
19. I only pay $1,000 a month in rent.
20. The $14 toll that the Transit Authority charges to enter the city from any bridge or tunnel makes perfect sense. I bet they use it to keep our roads so nice.
21. People in Midtown don’t walk fast enough.
22. It’s easy to get out of the city on a Friday at 3pm before a holiday.
23. I wish more people performed music in the subway stations.
24. I’ve been to the Statue of Liberty.
25. Getting on the 59th Street bridge from Manhattan by bike? Total breeze.
26. I only pay $1,500 in rent.
27. I love it when my regular train line has construction and I get to take a different one.
28. I go to Staten Island all the time! Who doesn’t?
29. I don’t feel strongly about the Mets or the Yankees.
30. Just take the orange line.
31. No one goes to Soho on a Saturday afternoon.
32. We really need more millionaires in this city buying up all the real estate.
33. I’ve never seen a rat in a subway station.
34. An empty subway car during rush hour? I’ll absolutely get on that car!
35. There just aren’t enough bars in the village to choose from.
36. I never even notice that a marathon is run here every year.
37. I’m so glad my favorite Polish bakery just closed to make room for another national retail chain store.
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