How To Inflate a Canadian’s Ego
1. Point out that the Canadian side of the falls is way better than the American side.
You can’t even really SEE Horseshoe Falls from the US side.
2. Try out some Canadian content.
Whether it’s the world’s first Inuit-made film, “Atanarjuat: the Fast Runner”, or the Montreal-made “Bon Cop, Bad Cop”, you’ll definitely impress us if you’ve not only heard of some Canadian movies, shows, or musicians… but actually have opinions about them. Did you like the latest Arcade Fire album? Have you seen 19-2 or This Hour Has 22 Minutes? We’d love to talk about it.
3. Point out all the (good) ways we’re different from the United States.
For one thing, we have more political parties… AND we have socialized medical treatment. We also have a cultural mosaic instead of a melting pot, and you can get poutine as a side dish at KFC. We’re so glad you noticed.
4. Impress us with your knowledge of Canadian history.
Even we don’t know that much about it, sometimes! But if you can make a reference to voyageur canoes or Pierre Trudeau’s famous opera capes, we might just swoon.
5. Tell us red and white is your favorite colour combination.
Ever since the Great Flag Debate of 1964, our distinctive 9-pointed maple leaf flag has proudly flown over hockey arenas and on travelers’ backpacks. We may occasionally feel touchy about our national identity, but the flag is one thing nobody seems to dislike.
6. Offer us a beer from a small brewery.
Everyone knows Molson or Labatt’s, but we’ll appreciate it far more if you offer us a Schooner, or a selection from Driftwood or Dieu du Ciel. 6% of all beer sold in Canada is craft beer (20% of all beers in BC are craft beer, if you’re a beer enthusiast looking for a province to visit), and you can find lots of local brands that haven’t yet been bought out by Anheuser-Busch.
7. Remark that you think our accent is cute (thanks, we like yours too!).
Nobody says “aboot” instead of “about” up here, I can promise you that… although we do say “eh” (unless you’re in British Columbia, and then we say “hey”). With a country as large as Canada, there are obviously a lot of regional variances in accent, with Newfies in the east sounding a lot more Scots-Irish than Manitobans, so you can take your pick as to exactly which accent you think is cutest.
8. Fully appreciate our summer cottage.
For Ontarians, it’s a weekend trip to Muskoka, while Montrealers head to the Eastern Townships… We love our cottages. We don’t have that many nice months to use them in (and some of them become ski or ice fishing cottages, depending on how focused we were on weatherproofing), so we are pretty proud of our home-away-from-home.
9. Compliment our money.
It’s pretty, it’s practical, and it’s got super cool holograms and windows in it. The only downside is that the hundreds smell like maple syrup, and we honestly don’t see how that’s a down side.
10. Go sledding with us.
Who doesn’t love tobogganing? Check out our daredevil moves on the slopes, and see if we can make ourselves go so fast we crash through the haybale barrier at the bottom and end up in the pond.
11. Compliment our snowboots and winter coats.
With winter taking over most of the country for up to 7 months a year, we spend more time in our heavy coats and fur-lined boots than in trendy spring jackets. It’s hard to find something that looks good and stays warm, so if you see something that keeps us toasty AND stylin’, please let us know.